Wishing All These Old Things Were New

This is a 2000s era Merle Haggard song. The title makes you think it's about regret and lost opportunities, but it's really about the desire to take up one's old addictions again, as if it were the first time, and bemoaning sobriety. Leave it to Merle to swerve into bad behavior.

Nevertheless, the title resonates for me as it first appears. I do wish I could go back again. I think a lot of my life has been spent trying to re-do things and start over. I transferred colleges like nobody's business as an undergrad, each time hoping that the next place would be more of a fit. I didn't have the experience of returning to the same college after summer break until my fourth year of school [and of course, due to all the transferring, I was only a junior by then.]

I went back to school to become an accountant, and only after about nine years and five different jobs do I feel like I may have succeeded, but I see the same pattern of leaving. Now I may be about to start what will probably be my last job at least for a long while, maybe the last ever.

Always trying to move on, looking for a better place. I married someone who had the same habit, and that caused an exponential increase in the behavior.

Now as I'm starting to approach the last decade of what could be called middle age, I may be finally somewhat settled. Depends on if the old things can remain old, and if new things can be learned. Guess we will see.

I'm trying to post more. I got nothing better to do these days.