Reading....

I don't have a lot to say these days. Trying to write poetry sometimes....I don't have the focus to write anything else. It's not that poetry doesn't require focus; it's just that it's easy to focus on coming up with a line, image, or just a word choice than it is writing a story. I just finished a draft of one that I think might have potential, I plan to send it to a journal as soon as I have time to go over it some more. Revision is key.

There's something that just appeals to me about using as few words as possible to say something. Guess it's a sort of autism.

Reading a lot of books. 1Q84, which I can't say I really *like* but find it easy to get into even if I'm not that engaged by it. Never read Murakami before, and I feel like I'm not getting all of it. I still hope to finish it even though I'm only about 70 pages in and it's due in a couple of weeks.

Have a couple of lighter things to read and some non-fiction. Gotta prioritize by library due date.

Hoping to hear about a job. I can say that I thought I had one of my better interviews, but a lot of the time it comes down to someone else being better. Allegedly there was only one other person up for it, but it was through a temp agency so they might be dealing with other agencies.

We have one property that doesn't seem to be selling, and another that needs to be prepared for sale that we have trouble finding the time and energy to fix up so I'm afraid we are stuck here. I had hopes that we could leave the state next year, now it's not looking so good. This is how people get stuck here.

This has been a very bad year. We lost someone very close to us and we are still dealing with the emotional and other fallout from that. I don't think you ever get over it.

Stuff just hasn't worked out the way I had wanted it to. I am not where I wanted to be at this stage in my life. Just not happy.

I live....

Much is the same, but I'm doing more reading and trying to find fulfillment in that. Just finished two books that are very much alike, both about something that I generally don't have much use for---video games, especially MMORGs or whatever they're called such as World of Warcraft.

REAMDE [named after a possibly typo'd virus file] by Neal Stephenson was over 1000 pages, but was a fast paced read. I've always thought Stephenson was like an Asperger author, slamming you with information. But this book is mainly long because of the many characters and arcs, and the time it takes for them to intersect. It's much like his earlier work, but I'm now giving ANATHEM [his previous book] another whirl. I actually own that book, but am checking it out of the library because I don't feel like looking for it.

Anyway, REAMDE involves intrigue in a Warcraft-like game, with the difference being the game was created mainly to try to profit from the practice of exchanging real world money for in-game items and activities. There are Russian mercenaries, Taliban, Chinese hackers, all playing a role.

It's very much a thriller, and I wonder if some of Stephenson's devotees might be disappointed, but the characters are all interesting and over the week and a half I was always wanting to get back to the book to see what happened next, and that's about as good as you can get.

READY PLAYER ONE is a fantasy of sorts, a love letter to 80s geek culture. It's in a distant future, a dystopia where most people live in squalor but spend the bulk of their time in a virtual environment. The creator of the environment, the richest man on earth, dies but creates a competition where the winner receives his fortune. It's a series of riddles and tests all based in 80s videogames, role playing games, television, movies and music. One kid living in poverty manages to be the first person to solve one of the riddles years afterward, and the race is on from there.

I am a selective geek---I like horror and not so much fantasy/science fiction, and have a healthy appreciation for other non-geeky things too--and unfortunately I am not talented in computers or in anything else where my geek interests could become a career. Anyway, I enjoyed this a lot.

So now I'm reading THE ART OF FIELDING, THE MARRIAGE PLOT [new Eugenidies that I'm wondering how anyone can appreciate who wasn't an English major] and a few others.

Also soldiering through the George RR Martin books when I want to read something right away and don't feel like going to get one of the library books. Some books you have to be in the mood to read, which is why I always like having several books around. The Martin books I can read anytime, even if I walk away from them for weeks.

I'm still applying for jobs, but our main focus is getting out of here sometime next year. We're both worried that this extended period of unemployment may make it hard for me to get back into the swing of things--I will likely be over three years unemployed by the time we get out of here, barring some kind of seasonal job or something else happening. I no longer get call backs very often, even for jobs that I would seem well-qualified for---last interview was last month at another firm. I was interviewed by people who had graduated the same year I did, and that is a sad indicator of where things sit with me these days.

Been a while....

Been reading a lot, not looking for work as much [have hopes for a seasonal job now with the Agency Everybody Hates that might start in a couple of months.]

Finished ONCE UPON A RIVER by Bonnie Jo Campbell. I was turned off at first because she adapted two of her short stories as part of this novel, and one was right at the beginning so I got this feeling of "Is this some kind of retread?" but it ended up being pretty good. It must have been, I ended up reading almost the entire thing yesterday morning. Still, her two novels have basically dealt with the same type of story, and I'd like to see a branching out of some kind. Some people do end up telling the same story, though. I guess it's what they call an idea fixee.

THE LAST WEREWOLF by Glen Duncan is probably the best horror novel I've read in a long time. People love vampires, but werewolves are more interesting thematically, yet no one really writes much about them. Until now. Best line ever: "Reader, I ate him."

THE LEFTOVERS by Tom Perotta. This hatched from his research for THE ABSTINENCE TEACHER, which involved him hanging around Christian groups. Those groups have a big thing about The Rapture [and I will talk about my own history with that at some future date] and I guess that piqued his interest enough to write this. But unfortunately like THE ABSTINENCE TEACHER, this book gave me the "Is that it?" reaction, although I'd say it was a little better than the aforementioned book in that some fairly big stuff happens here, but the book is slow to develop. The Rapture hits and the country is still confused about what exactly happened a year or so later. It's a national trauma and the whole country has a bad case of survivor's guilt, although they aren't sure how and why exactly they survived and what happened to those who left. There are traumatized parents who've lost kids, traumatized kids who've lost parents, and a number of cults that spring up among those who remain. There's no apocalyptic chaos to speak of, just a lot of sad people trying to carry on. In the end, though, it's about people trying to form relationships among fellow "survivors" and the whole Rapture setting is just a device to explore those relationships. I wouldn't say it was a bad book, but it's another one of those where I get over 200 pages into it and still don't really know where it's heading storywise...I don't feel like the story is really unfolding as it should. Maybe I should just stick to fantasy and werewolves, I don't know.

Showing some balls....and then regretting it.

The county called *again* today and it was the same frickin' Auditor/Tax Collector office where I've interviewed three times now with the same people [and five times with the county overall.] I decided I was tired of going through all of this so I explained to the lady that I had interviewed there five times and it was obvious I didn't have the experience they were looking for, so I was going to pass. I think she was a little surprised.

It felt good, but now I'm starting to wonder if I should have gone ahead and interviewed. Maybe if it had been one of the other county offices, but this one has turned into a farce due to my interviewing there so many times.

Also have a paranoid thought that maybe they were offering me a job out of the blue, but why would they do that without interviewing again....I don't remember that they actually said interview, but I'm sure they did.

Really don't want to be here anymore, but in a difficult situation as far as preparing to leave....

Interview...

...actually went okay. Can't really think of any moments where I should have said something else. The interviewers were nice and didn't really "attack" or challenge the way a lot of other interviewers have, questioning my experience etc.

Guess we will see. I'm not betting on it, but will just consider it a happy surprise if the say yes. Should know in a couple of weeks.

200.

Maybe that is a good place to stop. Well, not stop, but be on hiatus for a while, to figure out what the ultimate purpose of this should be. Writing about my job seeking woes is incredibly demoralizing.

Speaking of which, I have an interview tomorrow, I have a fatalistic attitude at this point. I cannot snow these people, I am just some phony accountant who only has one year of experience on paper, which consisted of maybe two months of working and ten months of screwing around on the internet. Just going to try and put it all out there and see what happens.

What's changed?

Nothing.

I'm close to my birthday again, I'm depressed again, I have zero work prospects, the only thing different is that I'm on my last week of unemployment benefits, so things are going to be very tight from here on out. Only good part is I have more options. I can go part time and I can temp without worrying about having my benefits messed up. Going to try HR Block, it won't pay anything but I can at least stay sort of in my field. I hate my field, but it is the only area where I am nominally employable.

Going to force myself to do all the crap I hate doing, just to have something to put on the resume [joining a networking group of other unemployed people--not sure how good that is going to be.]

In years past, there used to be more career options for people with different personality types. Now it seems like you have to be a Type A or you don't work. You have to have a certain skill set or you don't work. No wonder everyone overeats, drinks, gambles, etc. It is a one size fits one world, and we're all trying to force a fit.

Reading Jo Nesbo and Henning Mankell, and a few other things. Hard to focus on things I enjoy these days.

What

I guess this was some kind of mispost, but I'm keeping it anyway.

"What" is as good a thing to say as any.

Funny stuff.

A while back I read NOTHING HAPPENS UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU by T.M. Shine. It's about a newly unemployed journalist and his adventures. I liked it a lot, I could relate to some of it [mainly that he had an employed spouse.] Of course, the only part I didn't like was the "adventure" part. Unemployed people generally don't have adventures, or at least not the fun exciting kind. But nobody would want to read about that, so I don't blame him.

Anyway, he had a website going for a while [that I read about in Readers' Digest of all places, which was funny because the URL had the word "ass" in it.] I posted a comment once.

Today I decided to see what was going on there. I knew he hadn't updated anything on his twitter feed in a while, but I thought I'd see if it had more comments or something. It's now an abandoned URL, with links to various porn sites. Sure hope someone doesn't check out an old issue of Readers' Digest and try to visit it, or else they'll learn about how to find hot man on man ass action!

Swirling the toilet bowl.....

It's hot and miserable, and I have a lot of stuff to do.

Didn't get the county job. Not really a surprise, and I should be pleased that they got back to me so soon. I'm hoping that's it as far as county jobs go. I'm not going to bother taking the test next year. I won't be qualified for unemployment anymore, so I won't have to go through the charade of applying and interviewing for jobs that I have no chance at getting.

Hoping to maybe hear from the recruiter today. I suppose over the next couple of weeks I need to push to get temporary work. I think that is probably going to be the only avenue open to me. I applied at a place I used to work at back in grad school. It's for my old position, we'll see if they are interested. Doubt it, it'll be pretty obvious that I'm settling for that job [it's not even in accounting] and will want to move to something else as soon as I can.

Hard to convince people that I just want a low level job where I can learn and build experience over the long term.

I'm getting into reading about middle aged men in crisis again. I'm going to be 39 in just under a month and I'm probably already middle aged since most people kick off somewhere in their seventies. My grandfather is 86, but he's lived way longer than his father, or anyone else in his generation of our family.

I read a book called EVERYTHING HURTS about a 46 year old guy with various physical ailments that are related to his unresolved feelings, etc. Obvious the author is taking a dig at that one doctor who believes that all back problems are psychosomatic. A friend sent me his book once, I don't recall much about it other than my back problems did not resolve. I don't think I suppress my negative feelings, they are pretty much front and center.

Anniversary of poop.

Almost forgot...it was two years and about three and a half hours ago since I last held a paying job. Yessir, it was just after 11 AM when I got that fateful phone call.

The good news....one of the recruiters called and they might have a lead. Pay is good enough for things to continue as they have been. I'm hoping.

The county interview went okay, but I flubbed the Excel test at the end. Maybe it'll serve as a warning to brush up on Excel over the next few days.

One other positive, looks like I'll be getting a poem published in an anthology. So that's good, right? Right? Right.

Sick....

Ended up spending last week at my home state due to a family medical emergency that thankfully has stabilized. Back home now, but as usual I caught a cold while I was there that I've brought back home. Believe I am slowly recovering.

First day of summer and of course it is also the first day of triple digits here, it is supposed to be well over 100. Miserable time of year.

My family drives me crazy to the point where I almost do not want to return to my home state anymore, but I'm starting to think it is the only place where I'll find work. I didn't get the job I interviewed for. I have another county interview next week, but I don't really take those as serious job opportunities anymore. The only hope would be that this is a different agency and maybe I could possibly click with the interviewers.
Also, my last interview had a similar format and I think I did okay at it [even if I wasn't successful] so maybe I could finally perform to where I could get the job here.

Unemployment runs out in a little over a month, I'm kind of at a loss. About to hit an even worse anniversary than last year, I am almost two years unemployed now.

I was stuck with my parents' selection of books last week and ended up giving the second installment of Stieg Larson's Millennium Trilogy a try, and ended up getting hooked into it enough to finish the second and third books. I still wouldn't say they were great, it's one of those cases where the best known and most successful example of the genre is also the weakest. Really hoping that Jo Nesbo might be able to take advantage of the series' popularity. But the story did pick up in the second volume, THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE. I think too much of the first book involved detective work, scenes of the characters examining photographs and computer files. This at least had some more action. The third book is mainly a courtroom drama of sorts, but it is at least satisfying to see the villains get their comeuppance. But Lisbeth Salander is still a silly cartoon-like character, and despite the claims of "grittiness," the series has a real lack of realism. But if you view it as a sort of comic book, it's a decent entertainment.

Keeping you up to date....

Interview tomorrow for a temporary job at one of the places I interviewed last month.
It's a low level accounting gig, I may have a good chance at it. Doesn't pay any more than I get for unemployment, but the experience would be valuable, and it would give me something to do. Not sure how long the temporary period is, I will need to find out tomorrow.

Trying to prepare, but have a lot of personal stuff going on that is weighing on my mind.

On the last 60 pages of SKIPPY DIES. Have enjoyed it a lot.

Just watched Marwencol....

...and am feeling impaired myself, as if I had the brain damage suffered by the documentary's subject.

Seriously, been feeling more anxious lately, especially as the day goes on. I'm relatively okay in the morning, and I've learned that if I need to go out I should try and do it in the morning. Otherwise I get the willies and end up putting off whatever it is.

I've had trouble lately with aggressive drivers in parking lots, panhandlers, and various other issues. I've started driving an extra 15-20 minutes to a suburb to do some of the shopping, just because it's cleaner and there is less likelihood of an incident.

There has been more to apply to lately, so I guess that is good. It would be better if I could figure out a way to not appear so overqualified.

Almost finished with SKIPPY DIES. I'd say finishing it will be the biggest accomplishment I've had lately, other than maybe finally getting a handle on the dirty dishes and managing to prepare dinner for the last few weeks.

Which month was the cruelest?

Can't remember, and am too lazy to Google.

A temp accounting position is open at the air pollution control place, so I applied. Maybe slightly better odds than the last job. I had my "feedback session" yesterday. It wasn't that bad, my main problem is that I did not elaborate enough about certain topics [namely teamwork ability and people skills, which coincidentally happen to be my key weaknesses.] The HR lady was encouraging, she said there was really nothing negative or wrong, just not enough information in certain areas. She encouraged me to apply for the temporary position. Apparently it's common for people to make multiple attempts at getting a job with this agency. Might as well.

Rediscovering Stephen King, after being involved in some online discussion regarding him. He's always going to be a big part of my reading life, one of my favorite early adolescent memories is first starting to read him around age 11-12, walking home from the library with a ton of Stephen King books. Is he the most polished writer? No.
But his stories have one key element a lot of "better" writers lack: the King reader almost always wants to know how the story ends.

I believe I have maybe six or seven weeks of unemployment. I still believe something will work out, it just may not work out in the way that I thought it would.

The surrender.....

Last week I was turned down for my last two serious job prospects--the family CPA firm and the air pollution district. The lady at the firm sent a nice letter about how I was "one of their final three candidates, but..." I would almost rather get a generic form letter than that.

Also got a letter from the air district informing me that although I passed the interview I was not on the final list of eligibles. The HR person said I could have feedback if I wanted it, I guess I will take her up on it just so I can really depress myself and finally hear from the interviewer's perspective about how poorly I interview.

Went in to the temp office last week, let them know I was up for anything, pretty much.
Allegedly most of the work is full-time. As usual, I did well on the tests so I assume if I follow up something might result. I just need to come up with enough per month to cover my personal credit expenses.

I haven't totally given up on a "real" job, but I have to face facts--if it were going to happen, it probably would have by now, and it's been nearly two years since I last worked. In a way it is liberating because I'll more or less be finished with the annoying parts of the job hunt. Once my unemployment benefits run out I'll at least be more free to do other things.

When I was in my twenties, I enrolled in a paralegal certificate program. I never worked as a paralegal, and luckily fell into my post office job a few months after I "graduated." I still have the student loan debt from it. It sucks, but I'm starting to think my accounting career is more of the same, just more expensive, with less of a possibility of something else working out. And I'm not a young single twenty-something anymore; my screwups no longer only affect me. My wife is stuck in a job she hates during one of the most stressful periods of her life, all because I can't get it together.

Oh well, have a ton of chores to do.

So...

I got turned down for the last county interview, which wasn't a real surprise. They are either about to or already have enacted a hiring freeze, so a job there was unlikely to be in the cards anyway. I'm not all that upset by it. I guess I'm getting used to things not working out, which is both good and bad. It's good that I can adjust to setbacks, but it's bad that I think I'm kind of used to losing out on things now.

Only about eight weeks to go of unemployment, and I think I'm going to start looking at making the transition to finding temp work soon. Back when I had months and months to go of unemployment, it made sense to hold out and try to find full time permanent work, but now I'm not risking much by taking a temporary job. Plus since we're looking at trying to get out of here, temporary work may be the way to go anyway.

I started SKIPPY DIES last week and am about a fifth of the way through. Glad I tried it again, I really enjoy it.

I tried to read THE PALE KING, an unfinished DAVID FOSTER WALLACE book, but just can't get into it. It has a lot of things about taxes and the IRS, so you'd think I'd be one of the few people out there who would be able to appreciate it, but...guess not.

Have a lot of household tasks, phone calls to make, etc. I'll still try to blog at least once a week.

Sifting through crap....

So, we basically have the equivalent of an extra house worth of stuff [if not more] to clean out and figure out what to do with, so that is not much fun. Taking a lot of trips to Goodwill and one of the other local thrifts. We try to avoid Salvation Army due to the whole homophobia thing.

Don't have a lot of books coming in, but I am very much booked up. I had two Scandinavian mysteries, but will probably only finish one. The other is already slow and a little dull. I'm getting to the point where I forget I have books out, and that isn't good, so it may be time to clear the deck soon. I was trying to read SKIPPY DIES again, but haven't even started, so I guess I'm not really trying.

Hoping to maybe hear something this week about one of the interviews from last week. I really don't want to have to mess with temp agencies when my unemployment runs out in July.

Breaking promises....

I've been reading, but decided to just update on the interviews. Or interview.

The first interview at the family run CPA firm went pretty well. If I were to remain in public accounting, it would probably be the best place for me--a variety of experience, but with no crazy hours. The partner seemed to like me, but they are just starting the recruiting process and are unsure how they're going to proceed. I am pretty confident that I will be called for a second interview, they do not seem concerned with most of the things that usually trip me up.

The other interview turned out to not be an interview, but an oral examination. The top scorers will be called for the actual interview, at some future date yet to be determined. I did okay, but among the best? Not really sure. This pays more than accounting, but may have limited transferability when we do eventually get out of here for good. Believe it or not, I may be favoring the first job.

I ended up cancelling the third interview [with the county] because I need to be available to help with wife with some things that day. I'm not too worried about skipping the interview. The county's recruiting methods pretty much seem to guarantee that I won't ever get a job there, and this particular agency was the worst of all. I see familiar faces just about every time I go to interview, so I think there are a large group of people like me who score well on the accounting exam but don't have the experience to be considered for the job. They really need to either require more experience to take the exam or else lower the experience requirements for the job.

Reading Henning Mankell. Not as good as Harry Hole, but still pretty good. I'm really getting into Scandinavian crime novels, and as many have discovered, just about all of the lesser-known series out there are way better than the overrated GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO. Mankell seems to be profiting from the popularity of it, although he perversely has ended his series now that the time would be ripe to reap the benefits from it. I guess it would be good to include a link to his webpage even though I don't think my Imaginary Reader will be all that interested in clicking on it.

An embarrassment of riches.

I know I said I would not write about the job search anymore, but oh well.

I have three interviews next week with three different employers.

Job #1 is a position I really care about and would love to get. It isn't in accounting, although some accounting background is helpful. It's working for an air quality agency. It would basically be a chance to start fresh and not be hampered by my prior experiences. The interview format is the panel, which I normally don't like, but they use something called a "blind panel," where the interviewers aren't given any of your information. This would probably mean no questions about employment gaps or questions like "How do we know you won't just quit and go back to public accounting?" BTW, I took my CPA off the resume for this position, so it won't come into play at all. My lack of experience would probably not hurt me so much here.

Pay is much better than accounting positions here, and I'd be working regular hours but with every other Friday off. I'm focusing all my energy on this one. The main con would be, when we did get to leave the area I don't know how well this would translate into a job where we moved. There are similar agencies, but not in the city where we want to move.

Job #2---yet another small accounting firm that put an ad in the paper. They at least have a website so I've been able to check them out. Family owned firm with about six or seven accountants. I'm barely within the experience range and probably got the interview because I have the CPA. If I connect well with the interviewers it might work. Cons would probably be lower pay [small firms tend to pay less anyway] and it's public accounting so the hours would probably suck, although smaller firms sometimes are a little more lenient about that. Also, I would really love to not do public accounting anymore, but if I did get this I guess I could get the experience I needed to get a better job later. I could go either way on this one. It's the day before the interview for Job #1, so at the very least it could serve as practice, at least from a psychological standpoint.

Job #3. Yet another county interview, even though I have never gotten an official rejection from the last one. I believe I have interviewed with this particular agency before and been rejected, so no reason to think it would go any differently this time. I believe this place had me answer five questions and got me out the door without giving me an opportunity to ask any of my own. You never know, it could involve different people who have some other way of interviewing, but I doubt it. I don't really care about this one at all. The county is really getting clobbered financially right now, so I don't see how they can afford to hire anyone when they are probably about to lay off a bunch of people. This interview is late next week, well after the other two interviews. I'm tempted to not even do this one at all, but I guess it would be good to put on the unemployment form.

I'm worried about the possibility of getting job #2, starting right away [small firm usually equals fast turnaround time on interviews], and then hearing that I got job #1, and then I would worry about what to do at that point. I've never really gotten within sniffing distance of a job offer in public accounting, though, so it is probably not something I should worry about. I mean, I got my job at the Big Firm, but I found out later that it had to do with stuff that had nothing to do with them actually wanting me as a candidate.

So, token book post...reading A VISIT FROM THE GOON SQUAD and don't think it's amazing, but it's still pretty good. The section told in PowerPoint slides is something I had kind of considered doing for some kind of zine/art project once, but I am beaten to the punch yet again.

I have trouble with books that shift too much between characters and time frame.

Also reading: biography of Ray Bradbury that I enjoy but is very much authorized, although I don't know how much dirt there would actually be about Ray Bradbury anyway.

A book on the Mayflower, called MAYFLOWER.

A book on the Cherokee removal which I grew up knowing a lot about but it's good to actually read about it.

Some others I haven't started yet and need to. Have a few more waiting at the library. I know someday, maybe someday soon, I will start working and will miss all this reading time, although lately I've had to do more stuff around the house than I once did.

Heading home....

We made a big decision last week, that we are going to move back to my home state, and I'm hoping that we will be able to be in the city where I used to live.

So the job search is kinda-sorta suspended, as we get closer to my UE running out I will start trying to find temp work and hope to be able to at least make enough per month to cover my various credit bills. I still have two jobs pending [the last county job and one other that has not contacted me about an interview]and if I do manage to get one of those we will change our plans accordingly. Other than that, I am no longer actively seeking full time permanent employment. Shhh! Don't tell the unemployment people!

Long story short, we've never liked it here, and were only here for reasons that we couldn't do much about. That situation has changed, so after eight years it is finally time to go. Really hoping to move later this year, although more realistically it will probably be sometime next year. Have a lot of stuff to take care of, and no one to help us with it. Junk won't sell itself, and neither will houses. Especially in this crap market.

It's good to finally have a clear goal to work toward. I feel like I've been spinning my wheels for the last few years.

Professionally, I'm going to work toward getting my license active here, and then getting reciprocity with my home state.

In other news, I finally managed to change a flat tire after a few risky, failed attempts, so I am feeling pretty good about myself for once.

A promise to no one...

but you, Imaginary Reader.

If/when I get a job, I'll let you know. Until then, I think I'm done talking about it.
There are other things I'd rather talk about, and I will get to that in the weeks ahead.

Digging up bones.

Just for fun I decided to see how long it took to get a response the first time I interviewed with the county [a little over two weeks] so that's what I'm looking at.

Also ended up reading a lot of old posts from last year. Kind of depressing---the general pattern is "Oh, wow, a job interview, maybe this is finally the end of my joblessness!" "Just waiting to hear..." "Nope, they turned me down." And then a spot of despair that lasts until the next interview. About the only fun thing is when I wrote about books.

Only real change in my posts is that I'm on the final tier of unemployment benefits, so unless there's a miracle that would fly in the face of everything that has happened up until now [that is, the creation of a new level of extended unemployment benefits], I'm done with benefits in a few months. That's good and bad. It's tiring to have to fill out the paperwork, having to reject part time opportunities and temping opportunities because the requirement is to seek full-time work. The wages here are lower so I have had to bypass jobs that might have been okay but just didn't pay as much as unemployment. If I'm still jobless by then, I'll hit the temp agencies and hope to get enough to at least pay for most of my expenses. I still have faith that something will work out in time. I think if I hadn't been getting interviews this entire time, I'd feel less optimistic.

The post-game report.

The interview wasn't bad today---there were two positions, and yep, one was with the exact same interviewer with whom I've met twice previously. Some of the questions were the same, and my answers varied. One of the biggest problems I have is that my primary accounting experience up to this point was at a job where I was not successful, so I don't have anything to talk about as far as achievements at work, ways I've improved things, etc. It was still a major improvement over the previous interviews with the county.

The bright spot is that there were two positions, and I seemed to have a decent rapport with the other two interviewers who were representing the other department, and I did well when answering one of their technical questions. So I guess there is a chance. I've let it up to God---if it works out, it works out. I still had anxiety dreams about the interview all last night, and was still nervous, but in the end, if this doesn't work out, something else will, or if nothing else does we can start working toward getting the heck out of here.

Reading a book about Bobby Fischer and his rise and fall. I love the front and back cover---the front shows young Bobby Fischer at his peak, and the back cover shows a photo of him looking like a lunatic street person.

Full Circle pt. 2

Have yet another county interview next week, same department that I interviewed at twice last year. I'm hoping to show that I've covered a lot of the most relevant subject matter through my continuing education.

Also applied to the same damned casino that gave me the runaround last year. Nothing changes.

I've pretty much resigned myself that my "career" in public accounting is over. When you look at my age, the business situation with the firms here where I live, and the bad circumstances of my last job, the writing is pretty much on the wall.

We are finally in a position to be able to leave "Detroit of the West" within the next year or two, so our luck being what it is I will probably get a job now that we're able to finally get ready to move elsewhere.

Full circle.

This blog is just over a year old. Very little has changed. I had the second highest score on the county accounting exam, so I am guaranteed at least a couple of interviews as a result. Maybe if one of them is with a different group of interviewers I might have a chance.

The situation I've referred to over the last couple of posts is mostly over. Other than the aftermath. I don't wish to write about it. Years ago I probably would have written all the details, but these days I generally don't share much online, even anonymously.

Going to focus on books from now on, I think.

Worst case scenario.

Yep...everything we were afraid of is happening. All the dire predictions were true.
Stress level is already high and getting worse. I'm starting to have chest discomfort that hopefully is just stress related. I'm seeing the doctor next week while I still have healthcare benefits.

Need a job pretty soon. Good news is that I have an interview next week, although I'm going to have to seriously upgrade my dormant Excel skills by then---and those skills were never great to begin with, they are probably intermediate at best. I can cut and paste, format cells, and can fumble through a few of the more advanced functions.

Only good thing is that I continue to get an interview a month. Oh, in other fun news, I took the county accounting test yesterday, so we can start the fun of those terrible interviews again. I wonder if I'll get to interview with the same guy a third time [I've interviewed with him twice already.] I hope to have another job before that.

Just started the final extension of unemployment. There will be no more, I know some of my unemployed brethren are holding out hope that they will create another tier of benefits, but I'm not holding my breath.

I have some library books, but I'm re-reading THE LONELY POLYGAMIST. Liking it more this time around.

A final post, perhaps....

Still don't know anything about the impending disaster, other than that it is still pending and it is still disastrous. We will probably not attempt to have me performing caregiver duties, which may just as well considering that I'm someone who has trouble cleaning shower tile. I need to find a job, fast, and unfortunately now I can't really look anywhere other than here.

I have a lot of good books to read, and am exciting to get started. That's about as good as I can expect now. I guess I will stop this for the time being. Maybe at some point in the future I will start it up again.

A possible hiatus.

It looks like there may be bad times ahead. I don't want to go into details, but major health issues may be hitting our household soon, and if so things are going to change a lot. I may have to suspend my job search and take care of responsibilities at home for an indefinite period. My wife and I will discuss possible courses of action once we have a better idea what we're facing. BTW, neither of us are the ones with the health issues, but we're pretty much the only responsible parties who can help out with them.


Hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. It's another situation where it would have been so much easier if I'd been the one with the job right now. This blog isn't really something that people read, it's more of a diary for me, but I'm probably going to stop posting at least for a while.

Happily disappointed, pt. 2

...also found out that one of the other accounting jobs I'd applied to in my home state has also apparently been filled, although I never got any kind of notification about it [par for the course these days unless someone is brought in for an interview, and as we've seen, sometimes even if they are interviewed...]

As I said, it looks like the emergency last resort backup plan is not going to be viable. Bummer, but maybe at least it'll get family off my back about why don't I just move back there....

Happily disappointed.

I got an e-mail from that smaller college job, saying they decided to move forward with candidates who were a better match. I have mixed feelings, I didn't want to move back there, but it is a scary indicator. I had all the requirements mentioned in the ad. I'd say the only issues were that my work experience wasn't directly relevant [tax is the accounting equivalent of majoring in English] and that my CPA license was inactive and from another state [but this didn't involve actually practicing public accounting.]

I'm hoping that maybe they were already kind of in the final stages of the recruiting process and didn't really need to consider anyone else. Perhaps my not already living there was a problem too.

What is scary about it is that we've been saying all this time that, "Well, if all else fails I can always move back to my home state and easily find a job there since unemployment is so much lower." Now it looks like that may not work either. I guess I'll go back to my original plan---once unemployment runs out this summer [and I am about to hit the final stage of benefits, so that's coming up] I'll just try to temp and work however I can for however much I can get, and continue to look for full-time work. This is what it's come down to. I am in the exact same position I was in about 15 years ago, before I got on with the Federal Agency Known for Workplace Violence. It's depressing.

Haven't posted...

...because there hasn't been much to post about. I applied to a university that is hiring a junior accountant. Waiting to hear about testings for the two counties where I've applied.

Reading SWAMPLANDIA! I've been waiting for it for some time and am not disappointed. Have a ton of library books to return...unread. Other than SWAMPLANDIA! [I just like writing the title] I have not found much I've enjoyed lately.

Decided to stop applying to jobs in my home state. I'll wait until things get much more dire before I do that. I still have a few months, and who knows, if I have to I might be able to find part-time temp work that could at least help.

Trying to stay positive.

Even in dreams....

You know when you are in an argument or disagreement with someone, and later you think, "I should have said this...." It's even happening to me in my dreams. Last night I dreamt I got into an argument with a letter carrier. I mentioned to him that I used to work for the Post Office but quit, and he started berating me about how stupid I was for quitting the Post Office, what a great job it was, etc. Probably my subconscious.
I tried to explain that my job wasn't as good as his seemed to be, and he said something about how all jobs at the Post Office were the same and none of them were any worse than any of the others.

Anyway, he left, and I realized I should have told him that my first job I got after going back to school paid 20k more per year than my job at the Post Office, and also didn't involve me working weekends [usually] or non-standard hours [other than busy season.] But alas, the opportunity was gone.

We're hoping the jobs in my home state do not contact me, I think we've realized that it would just be too difficult for me to be that far away, both emotionally and logistically. Hoping to hear something about an exam for one of the county jobs this week.

Poking myself in the eye with a sharp stick...

....again.

The county here is hiring, exact same process as last time, etc. I need one more job to put on my UE form this week so I can have three jobs, so guess I'll sign up for more punishment. Our county is broke, I don't know how they can hire people like this.

I've been working on audit related courses for my continuing education, so maybe this will help me.

Still loving the high speed. I always have time to decompress when my wife gets home, because that's her turn to use the computer.

Hello 21st Century....

We finally have high speed internet. Huzzah.

We've had it before, back when I was working for the Big Firm, but haven't had it since moving back here to Detroit of the West. Nice.

No movement on the university job, so I think I don't have to worry too much about a conflict between them and the job I'm really interested in.

Okay, back to wasting time online....I'm going to have to work to stay focused on the various other things I like to do that don't involve technology. When I first moved to the craphole I used to live in while at the Big Firm, I didn't have internet or even a TV for the first week I was there. I actually enjoyed it. I'd just read quietly each night before bedtime. I think after the newness of this wears off, I may try to "unplug" at least once a week.

The race is on....

Found a job over the weekend with one of the counties here in this area. Great pay, and I meet the requirements. Biggest plus is that it is located in one of the few areas in this state where my wife and I would like to live. But...it is with a county government, and who knows how long they'll take to do anything. There will probably be another exam, and then eventually an interview. By the time all of that happens I might end up getting one of the jobs in my home state.

I'm hoping that I will at least be able to interview for this new county position assuming I am able to get to that stage, that way I could hopefully make an informed decision. Worse came to worse, I could renege on the university job and move back here and work for the county. If I were able to choose, I would rather stay here...the more I think about it, the more I hate the idea of moving, but if I get a job there, I have to do it. I view it as what I have to do because of the poor decisions I made over the last few years.

Of course, all of this assumes that I'm a contender for one of the jobs in my home state, which is also a big assumption.

The turnaround....

Well, maybe.

I was poking around and saw a job at the college at the smaller town to where I'm considering relocating. They want someone with a CPA, a master's, and a year of experience. Perfect. I called to see if the job was still open [the filing date had passed on the website] and was told that as long as the job was on the website they were still looking at people. So I applied. I'll be surprised if this doesn't result in at least an interview...I've made it clear that I'm originally from the area and am looking to move back, and it seems like they are having trouble filling the position [I'm guessing that most CPAs have way more experience and don't want to work that level of job with that level of pay or live in that area...I happen to be the exception!]

Guess we shall see. It's interesting to note that since I've decided to focus on jobs back in my home state I have found two okay prospects and one great prospect in one week.

This enthusiasm is tempered of course by my desire to stay with my wife, and I guess that's something I will just have to get over.

The hour that stretches...

Today is one of those rare mornings where there seems to be plenty of time no matter what I'm doing. I have a couple of hours until it's time to go out, and I can exercise, bathe, read, relax, etc...always feels good when that happens.

I applied for another job in my home state and should probably get some kind of response. As I mentioned last April when the whole casino job fiasco was going on, I am Indian and most Indian tribes operate on Indian Preference. This doesn't make things automatic, but generally they have to justify not hiring a non-Indian. An Indian applicant that has good qualifications generally has a good shot at getting the job. It gets even better when you're applying with your actual tribe, at the very least because documentation is easier. Anyway, these two jobs are with my tribe. This might be a way out, we shall see. I'm hoping my wife and I wouldn't need to be separated much longer than six months.

That area is being clobbered by ice and snow [one of the few things I will miss about where I am now is not having to deal with that in the winter] so I don't think there will be any response for a while.

I am jumping the gun as always, working out a possible budget, etc. I shouldn't do that, nothing good has ever come of it.

Looks the like football I mentioned a few posts ago has already been pulled out. The Federal Agency Everyone Hates is basically going to be under a hiring freeze for this entire year, until a budget is passed. With the Republicans having the House it doesn't look good for hiring to be increased. Oh well, I would much rather have my current strategy work out.

You know you've been unemployed too long....

...when you start dreaming about filling out unemployment forms and paperwork instead of dreaming about former jobs.

So I'm biting the bullet and applying to a job in my home state. If it worked out I could live very cheaply and actually be able to pay my bills. My wife and I would separate for a year or so, then she would join me after she was able to quit her job and put her house on the market. If I could reduce my credit debt over the first year we could probably make it.

I am a little underqualified for the job, but could probably do it if given the right training and support. However, it is the type of job that people usually get after a few years of experience. Guess we will see what happens.

Catch-22 all over again....

I feel serious guilt right now.

I got a call this afternoon from one of the casino jobs I applied to out of the area.
We scheduled an interview for tomorrow, but the person let me know what the pay was, and it was a little low [probably short about 5-6k] but like a dummy, I agreed to come in anyway. Luckily, my wife came home briefly that afternoon and we could discuss it.
The salary just isn't going to work. It won't support us, although it could if we separated on a semi-permanent basis and if my wife continued to work and helped to support me while I was there. So, sheepishly, I called back just now to respectfully decline. It was just a little over an hour after they initially called me so I'm hoping it won't cause them too much of an inconvenience.

I guess it's good that I at least was offered an interview in February, even if I turned it down. If I had known the salary beforehand I wouldn't have applied.

We've been down this road before, also...when I moved to work for the Big Firm we had a similar situation where I was only making enough money to pay some of the bills, my own living expenses, etc. and ended up having to dip into savings after a while in order to make ends meet for what essentially were two households.

This brings up a conundrum. I can only bring in an entry level salary, but I don't have entry level obligations. I guess it's something that career changers out there should consider before taking the plunge and studying accounting, nursing, engineering, or whatever fields are "hot" right now.

I'm better off just waiting for unemployment to run out and at that point settle for the $8-$9 per hour temp job. Still have 4 months or so.

Kick that football, Charlie Brown....

I would post a picture, but I have no desire to rip off the estate of Charles Schulz.
Interesting factoid: I hear that Charles Schulz [note that it is not "Schultz"] is routinely is among the top posthumous earners, I believe Elvis is the only one who earns more, although Michael Jackson will probably be making the list for at least a few more years.

My particular football is The Federal Agency that Everyone Hates, and it is being lowered in front of me yet again. No jobs here where I am of course, but I don't really care....I'm applying anyway. We'll see how long before they cancel/postpone this job listing. Pretty sure I should get an interview this time, it has been over a year since my last one.

Most likely, though, I won't have a real shot at it until the economy improves to where these jobs are once again what they were pre-recession, an entry level opportunity for people who either won't or can't get their start elsewhere.

What a man's gotta do....

So over the last week my wife and I have been talking, and we've come to the conclusions that I am probably not ever going to get a job here, and I need to start applying out of the area. I applied to one out-of-state job and yet another casino job located a few hours from here. I'm about to apply to a couple of other jobs out of state, back in the area where I attended college which is about an hour from where I grew up. I just really need to have something going by the time unemployment runs out this summer. It would be difficult short term, but in the long run it would be closer to what we want for our lives, to move away from here and start a new life.

I'll still continue to apply to things here as I find them, and I'm still holding out a little hope that the job I interviewed for a few weeks ago might produce something in February, but I'm mostly writing that one off. I noticed the ad for it has been reposted. That could be automated, or it could mean they've decided to go in another direction.

Trying to whittle down the "inventory" of library books. I picked up MORE BOOK LUST, a list of recommended reading from a librarian and that has me putting in a new list of library holds. I'm trying not to overdo it, keeping it to a couple at a time. I need to make a spreadsheet of the books...I know it sounds ridiculous but my reading activity is my main source of enjoyment these days.

I finished MAN IN THE WOODS by Scott Spencer. It was good overall, but had a couple of things that I've seen in a lot of books, things that I find irritating. The first thing I believe I have complained about before--taking too long to get to the action or event that sets the story in motion. I don't mind some back-story, especially with a longer novel, but this was a quick less-than-300 page read, and I believe the story didn't really get going until past page 50.

The second thing is something that I view to be kind of like cheating. I like when books work toward their endings gradually--where you see that the author is working toward an ending that brings it all together. Those are the most satisfying books. What I dislike are "twist-like" endings where the ending is brought about by something that happens during the last few pages, something that hasn't really been developed much by the author over the course of the book. That's what happens here, and it bugged me. It's still an okay read.

A change of mind....

I ended up applying for the job way out of state today. Odds are good that I won't even get a response. I think if I actually lived in the area I might, because I'm actually a decent fit for the position.

Of course, the fact that I dread the idea of going over there may result in my actually getting the job. I'd have to fly over, rent a car, and then try to purchase a car on short notice. It would be too risky to take the car I'm driving now, although it's been pretty serviceable to me in the past few years [only having to be in "full time" use during my year at the Big Firm, and getting mostly light usage the rest of the time.] Don't know if it could handle a four day drive cross country, or if it would last long afterward.

It would just be so hard, though. I know no one there, have never been there, and would be totally alone.

Oh well, I will worry about it if they call about an interview. The job has been posted since summer so I'm guessing it might either be non-existent or have some other issue where it isn't going to be filled.

The shoemaker's kids go barefoot.

I'm a little better than when I last wrote. I just have to believe there is something out there somewhere. We're continuing to discuss thing about that job, but I'm guessing I'm not going to apply. The job was posted back in August so I suspect there is something not right about it anyway.

Re-reading SCHULZ AND PEANUTS. I have a copy boxed up somewhere but I just checked it out from the library.

We're going to owe quite a bit of tax this year. So much for my stellar tax planning skills. I still put "Accountant" as my occupation on my tax return even though I haven't actually done accounting work since March of 2009 [I was fired in early summer of that year, but I had absolutely no work to do after around mid-March. I counted it up, and I worked approximately two months out of the year I was there.] We owe because we had to cash out our remaining retirement accounts last year in order to pay property taxes and homeowner's insurance. I've had to cash out everything over the last couple of years. My mistake of working for the Big Firm is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Sunday blues

We saw a job way, way, out of state today and thought about applying, but it would be a really difficult thing. My wife and I would probably have to be separated for a year or more. Getting this house ready to put on the market is really a two person job, minimum. If I leave, the odds are it wouldn't happen, and I'd just have to move back again. Also, my unhappiness on having to be alone would probably translate to lack of interest and self-sabotage at whatever job i got. Anyway, I decided not to apply.

Just wish like hell I could find some kind of job here where we are.

I've made so many mistakes. I feel like at some point we should be given the chance to rectify things, especially when the mistakes involve things like taking the wrong job or going about a career change the wrong way. It's not like I've committed a crime or something. But it sure feels that way sometimes.

The exit strategy....

So I have put last week's interview fiasco behind me--just trying to view it as good that I managed to get an interview in January. I've gotten interviews during the winter months this past year, which is a positive. Last year that period was basically completely dead as far as job prospects.

Assuming this last thing doesn't pan out, we're thinking about my moving back to my original home state and my wife will have to join me later on. We thought about my trying to move to more economically viable areas of this state, but a quick scan of Craigslist reveals that things don't seem much better there than here for someone like me.

There is one government job I am probably going to apply to, and I may visit and job hunt later this year. I have mixed feelings about moving back. I will enjoy being closer to family, but I dislike a lot of things about my home state. I will put up with it if it means being able to restart my career and possibly having a better, more stable life.

Finished a great book about the Comanche called EMPIRE OF THE SUMMER MOON. I like how it doesn't flinch from the brutality on both sides of the Indian wars. I am Indian and I get tired of the politically correct treatment of Indian people, as if they led some kind of perfect divine existence and were not warlike, violent, etc., until they were corrupted by the whites. Some tribes actually perpetuate this today, the principal chief of my tribe likes to talk about how there is no word for "competition" in our tribal language. Perhaps not, but that doesn't mean the concept does not exist.

Anyway, EMPIRE OF THE SUMMER MOON is fascinating reading about the development of horse warfare among the Comanche [who developed into what many believe to be the best light cavalry in history] and about Quannah Parker, one of their last, most prominent leaders.

I'm going to have to clear the deck of books pretty soon, there is a lot of stuff in transit. I will probably drop the book on Stalin, although it's entertaining, it's also pretty repetitive, lots of killing and betrayal for nearly 600 pages. It sounds more interesting than it is--usually it happened in a very bureaucratic fashion. Still, might be something I pick up again later on. I've started doing that with some of the longer history books.

Even worse....

I didn't exactly get a "no" this time, but now allegedly they are delaying hiring until sometime next month. Apparently they are making an acquisition that the controller somehow did not know about yesterday, and they don't want to bring someone on in the middle of it. So there *might* be another interview next month.

It seems like every time I have an interview, the process gets more and more excruciating and I feel like I'm being treated worse and worse. I'm just really despairing that I'll ever get a job, and even if I do, that I won't be miserable doing it.

Thinking back....

One year ago, I was getting ready for an interview with the Federal Agency Everyone Hates. I had to fly on short notice to a city in the Northwest, book a hotel, etc, all for an interview that ended up being maybe 30 minutes tops. And obviously, I ended up not getting the job. The job would have been miserable, and my wife and I had about decided to turn it down had I ended up being offered it. But that's how desperate we were at the time, my wife had not gotten her current job and we were having to subsist on my unemployment and my father-in-law helping with the bills.

I am hoping to get good news today, maybe later this morning. If not, well, I've been in this situation before, although this time will sting particularly hard. The other jobs I've tried for were all jobs that would be a stretch for me at my current level of experience and ability, and I am not sure I would have succeeded at any of them. None of them were really willing to train me. This is genuinely an entry level opportunity.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning thinking about this and never got back to sleep. I really hope to hear something today, one way or the other. I feel like I almost have to, they want someone to start on Monday.

To the bitter end....

Looks like no answer today---the recruiter e-mailed and said that the controller wasn't able to meet with his boss today, so there won't be an answer till tomorrow.

Oh well, back to reading. I know that someday [I hope soon] I will probably feel nostalgic about this period in my life, the way people often feel fondness towards times in their life that didn't seem that fun when they were actually happening.

The waiting game, accelerated...

Interview went really well, but the guy [he's the controller] is concerned that I might leave when the economy picks up. The recruiter is actually going to really work to get me hired [mainly because the only other finalist is not going through a recruiter.] I should hear something in a couple of hours. It sounds like a great opportunity, with a lot of training and support. And it is not public accounting!

He apologized profusely about all the delays, which pretty much made up for it. I think it probably was better that we were at the Starbucks, we were able to talk together and get it over with.

I should know something in a couple of hours. He has to meet with the GM, and then will contact the recruiter, who has already followed up with me [and he spoke with her after the interview both about what he is enthusiastic about and his concerns.]

Things may be changing very soon, I hope. I'm going to allow myself at least to do that.

Update...

...have the interview tomorrow. Apparently the reason we're not meeting at the office is because the person [the controller] doesn't want to deal with constant interruptions.

It's in aviation, which is interesting. I love how recruiters always give no details at all until the interview is set. There was actually a website to refer to this time which is always good. I'm trying to find out all I can about the accounting practices in that industry. Guess we'll see...I am not going to expect a lot out of it, just want to do the best I can.

The Recruiter Runaround....part two.

So looks like I *probably* have an interview tomorrow through the recruiter who apparently has the flakiest client ever. I'm hoping this won't be as big of a waste of time as my last recruiter-arranged interview was [with the old guy who wanted me to buy his tax practice in a few years.] This is non-public accounting, supposedly entry level, but I am really put off by the difficulty we've had in getting the interview together. It really seems like the interview is not a priority for the client, and even now, we're meeting in a Starbucks, after the recruiter originally wanted us to meet at 5 PM in their offices. What type of place is this where the person can't take one hour out of the workday to interview someone?

I'm not optimistic that this will be a good opportunity, but I'm really starting to grasp at straws here, and at least it's not public accounting. But it may also not be the long-term experience that I really need to get established. It will also mean a goodbye to working in public accounting, although I do not really have a problem with that. I'm just hoping it isn't horrible to where it is another bad experience that ends up messing things up years later, similar to the Big Firm.

What's the zip code for Memory Lane?

Two things inspired [well, that's being a little generous] me to do this next post. I mentioned earlier that I still dream about my job at the Federal Agency Known for Workplace Violence even though I've been gone from there over seven years now. I also just finished a novel called MAILMAN by J. Robert Lennon [author is actually named John Lennon, which is why of course he uses the first initial. He was born in 1970, I wonder if he had hippie parents, although of course it could be a family name. As usual, I digress.]

MAILMAN is about a fifty-seven year old letter carrier named Albert Lippincott who works in a small college town in New York. The novel is basically a catalog of his various failures and traumas. J. Robert Lennon obviously has spent time either as a postal worker [doubtful, he's written several other novels] or has done his research [there's a lengthy list of acknowledgements at the end] because Albert is like a lot of people I used to work with, and a lot like me during that time of my life, a solitary creature of routine [although he is not nearly as solitary as I was] whose life tends to revolve around a job that he loves and hates at the same time. When that job is jeopardized, his world of course falls apart.

The story is told through a lot of flashbacks, often the events in the novel's present lead to Albert remembering events of his past [usually bad,] such as his failure in college, his mental illness, his aborted attempt to work for the Peace Corps, his romantic flings, his failed marriage, and so on. Albert is a prime example of the overeducated postal worker: someone who went to college [in his case, briefly] but for whatever reason failed to leverage that into a career, and found their way into the post office. That basically describes me and at least a few of my co-workers [although not too many, I imagine you'd see more in a location where there was a higher level of educational attainment on average.]

Anyway, although I never carried mail [which generally is considered the most difficult job in the Post Office, although I would say window clerk is a close second--any position where you're caught between the public and management is not an easy one] I identified quite a bit with Albert, and imagine had I been able to stick around I most likely would have ended up quite a bit like him, although probably less interesting. I had a pretty solid routine which I liked to follow, and I tended to have my life revolve around my job. And unfortunately, I still have fond memories of a lot of my postal career, although not the last year and a half or so of it. BTW, I worked in a mail sorting facility, working with a gigantic machine that sorted magazines and large envelopes, a.k.a. "flats." Back in 1996 I started out doing data entry at something called a "remote encoding center," we keyed address information so that mail could be properly sorted, but technology improved to where that was automated, so I ended up working the flat sorter gig more or less for the rest of my career [from spring 2000 to fall of 2003.]

I don't think I would have been able to stick around even if I'd wanted to. Over the past 15-20 years they have been moving toward increased automation and less of a need for employees. Couple that with the economic meltdown and that spelled trouble for people like me who were fairly late to the party [my "seniority date" was in 1997, and I would have had to make it until 2029 to reach retirement.] It was pretty commonly known even a decade ago that if you didn't already have 20 years under your belt or close to it that you were going to have to find something else at some point in the future; the writing was on the wall even then as far as the long term viability of the USPS.] They probably wouldn't have laid people off, or at least not anyone with the seniority I had back then, but they would have closed facilities and moved people around to where they would have to quit. This has been happening a lot since I left, they've abolished jobs and forced employees to work at a location over a hundred miles away, they've eliminated entire shifts, etc. My last job I had with them was really the only job there that I was good at, when I had to move to other work areas I was stressed beyond belief. So, as bad as stuff is now, and as nostalgic as I am for my former career, I know that long term, leaving was the right thing to do. I certainly have made my share of mistakes since then [getting a master's degree in accounting instead of just an associates is probably toward the top of the list] but I think I am better off than I would have been had I tried to stay.

No decision....

Heard back just now, they said they are still going through the interview process which is taking longer than they expected, and will let me know when they come to a decision.

So, not horrible news, but not great either, because I'm guessing the people who they meet with last will seem fresher in their minds than someone who interviewed over two weeks ago. Of course, I don't know how many they are hiring either.

Or this could just be a way to weasel out of telling me that I didn't make the cut. No way to know, really.

Oh well, it's better than getting crappy news about it which would make me even more depressed.

A double post day....

I'm really trying to up the quantity, if not the quality. Actually, I've been re-reading Bill Tuomola's old zine THE WYMAN WEEKLY. I can't remember how I first discovered him or his other zine EXILED ON MAIN STREET, I think it was some random late night internet search I did back during one of my nights off at my old graveyard shift post office job [which I dreamt about the other night. Haven't worked there for over seven years now and I still dream about the place.] Anyway, reading his old stuff has made me want to write more. I really identified with his situation, being underemployed in an office and just trying to get by. Of course, I imagine he was much younger than I was when I was doing that---I was thirty-six years old!

I am going to try to figure out what's going on with my latest job interview today. And I'm also going to go to Taco Bell and do my Biggest-Loser fatty thing where I eat fast food in my car. I did ride the exercise bike yesterday, and it was okay. Might try to do it today. Maybe.

My next post will hopefully give an answer about what I may be doing the rest of this year---either working or trying to get ready to move.

Good news!

Haven't heard about the job, but I did just score 486 points playing Scrabble. I'll be sure to mention that next time I'm asked in an interview about what I've been doing all this time. "Improving my Scrabble skills."

I play against the computer mainly, although my wife and I will have vicious Scrabble matches sometimes on weekends. Computer play is easier, I've never done nearly as well with a regular board. It's funny, most people think it's about coming up with all sorts of words, but the game is really more about numbers in a lot of ways...knowing how to make the best use of premium tiles, trying to create "hooks" for other words, in hopes of coming up with a "bingo," a play that uses all seven tiles and earns a bonus of 50 points on top of whatever else you get. But if you luck into the right combinations, you don't need bingos, one of my highest all time plays only involved five tiles, the word QUADS, with the Q being a triple letter tile and the S triggering a Double Word Tile both for QUADS and another longer word that had a lot of other high value tiles. I think it ended up earning somewhere in the 80 point range, which is more than many bingos earn.

Oh well, back to reading.

Nope, not yet.

Haven't heard anything, no rejection letter in the mail, nothing.

I have been down this road so many times. Wish I could get some idea.

Been wanting to read some Philip K. Dick, and it probably won't be helping my mental state any, but I don't care. I finished [again] DIVINE INVASIONS by Lawrence Sutin and now I want to revisit some of PKD's work.

Have a ton of chores to do. I am bad at most of them, but someone has to do them, even half-assedly. Our lives are so backward.

More of the same...

...waiting to hear about the last interview. Starting to lose my optimism.

This may be the last hurrah as far as finding a job here. If so, we may start working toward moving this year, although we're not sure yet where to.

Finished MATTERHORN. One of the few books where the glossary is as interesting as the book. Did you know the Tet Offensive was basically a North Vietnamese version of "The Night of the Long Knives," a purge of certain elements? The North Vietnamese Army basically set the Viet Cong up to be slaughtered by the Americans, to get them out of the way.

More later. I'm still hoping that I might hear something today, I will contact them if I haven't heard anything by Thursday.

The Obligatory Year in Review....

2010 could have been worse considering that I was unemployed the entire year. Things have worked out to where I will be able to get the full amount of unemployment benefits. My wife got a job which is good in some ways [income] bad in others [getting more and more entrenched in a place where we don't want to live and where I can't seem to find a job.]

On the job searching front, I estimate that I applied to at least 120-130 jobs. I had eleven interviews. Out of those, I have probably had a legitimate shot at two of the jobs for which I'd interviewed [the casino job, and this last accounting firm job that I am still holding out some hope for.]

My weight loss hasn't been that successful. The only positive is that I have not gained all of it back yet, and if I start now my weight loss program can continue with me still being about 25-30 pounds less than when I started in fall of 2009.

I didn't visit my family in 2010 at all, although my parents visited me over the summer. This is the longest period I've ever gone without coming home, I haven't been there in around sixteen months.

I am hoping 2011 is kinder to us, and that I can either find a job soon, or that we can be moved to a place where I can be back in the workforce by the end of the year.