Realized around mid-morning that today is a state and county holiday, therefore no possibility of a call. No rejections in the mail as of yet, and since they are not there today to mail anything, none tomorrow. So if I do get notification tomorrow it will be positive. The bad news, my unemployment check will also probably be late due to the same holiday, although maybe not. Monday holidays are the ones that really wreak havoc on the timeliness of the dole check.
Gave up on the F. Scott Fitzgerald bio, way, way too much info that I don't care about, like all his school plays in high school, his report cards, etc. Unfortunately, this was supposedly one of the better biographies, so I may give up on that and just start in on the work. Library was closed today, going to make a run tomorrow.
I am officially a househusband as of tomorrow. I actually enjoy running errands, food shopping, etc., although cleaning is a definite weak point. But hey, opportunity to learn. May try cooking, too. I am capable of cooking, I was slightly above average at cooking for myself back when I was a bachelor, but am way out of practice. I've never cooked for anyone other than me. We shall see.
To bed early....wife's job starts very early in the morning, and I am going to keep the same sleep schedule.
And hey, first month for this blog. I probably should start putting it out there a bit more...maybe.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Call damnit call....
Playing the Waiting Game. Did not get anything in the mail today, so no news is good news. I keep a pen and paper with my cell phone at all times, even when I'm out running errands [in the past they've had a penchant for calling when I'm driving somewhere.] I still wouldn't be surprised to never hear anything about it--if I get no news in Saturday's mail, I will assume that's what happened.
Found a new government type job to apply to. Hopefully I can put my interviewing experience with the county job to work…see, no experience is ever wasted. I try to make some kind of sense of all the various misfortunes over the past few years, sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. I’m hoping that eventually I will have enough “close, but no cigar” interviews in order to finally reach the point where I can do a good interview. Right now…well, I don’t think I’m really bad at it, just that there are always problems with me as a candidate. I can’t mention often enough how disappointed I am with my performance in that last interview. When stressed I tend to ramble and I’m sure it is really irritating to the interviewer.
It’s strange…I used to be much more comfortable in those situations than I am now. I used to speak in front of relatively large groups, took a course in Public Speaking [where I earned an A] and so on. Now I can’t even interview for a job without either seeming all shaky and panicky or else messing up some other way. Don’t know what the solution is, but I’m hoping that I improve a little bit each time. Interview I had before this one, my mind wandered too much while they were talking to me and I think they noticed. This past one, I was able to focus more, but rambled too much in answering questions. I try to imagine possible questions and responses in my head beforehand, rehearsing everything, but tend to crack under pressure.
Part of it may be because I often have to say things that aren’t necessarily true. Does everyone do that? I talk about how important it is to be able to communicate well with co-workers and supervisors when working on projects, yet one of the biggest complaints on my final evaluation at the Big Firm was my inability to do just that. I suppose it isn’t a lie since I am aware of the importance of it, I just have problems doing it, although I really think that next time would be different.
I wonder where the line is between "puffery" and outright lying. I've never made anything up, I've just glossed over things that are issues for me. A lot of the skills people look for these days are things that I have trouble with. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you are good at things that may not necessary be strengths, as long as there are no outright fabrications [like saying you worked someplace you didn't, had experiences you didn't, etc.] I suppose nearly everyone does this, but sometimes I think, "Well, what do you expect? Your qualities are generally the opposite of what they want." But that's probably just me being negative. Still difficult to form a plan for interviewing when the main activity is to conceal things that would most likely be a red flag to interviewers. I probably shouldn't worry about it, doesn't look like my attempts at subterfuge have worked yet.
This other government job sounds like a better fit for me, seems to consist more of basic accounting functions for a single entity, although it would be a more limited range of experience than the county accountant/auditor job.
SOUND AND THE FURY is in transit, can't wait, although it will be hard going. I believe I've tried Faulkner before, but I am a more focused reader than I was then. I've had lots of practice over the past four or five months.
Almost time to start the Fitzgerald bio too!
Found a new government type job to apply to. Hopefully I can put my interviewing experience with the county job to work…see, no experience is ever wasted. I try to make some kind of sense of all the various misfortunes over the past few years, sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t. I’m hoping that eventually I will have enough “close, but no cigar” interviews in order to finally reach the point where I can do a good interview. Right now…well, I don’t think I’m really bad at it, just that there are always problems with me as a candidate. I can’t mention often enough how disappointed I am with my performance in that last interview. When stressed I tend to ramble and I’m sure it is really irritating to the interviewer.
It’s strange…I used to be much more comfortable in those situations than I am now. I used to speak in front of relatively large groups, took a course in Public Speaking [where I earned an A] and so on. Now I can’t even interview for a job without either seeming all shaky and panicky or else messing up some other way. Don’t know what the solution is, but I’m hoping that I improve a little bit each time. Interview I had before this one, my mind wandered too much while they were talking to me and I think they noticed. This past one, I was able to focus more, but rambled too much in answering questions. I try to imagine possible questions and responses in my head beforehand, rehearsing everything, but tend to crack under pressure.
Part of it may be because I often have to say things that aren’t necessarily true. Does everyone do that? I talk about how important it is to be able to communicate well with co-workers and supervisors when working on projects, yet one of the biggest complaints on my final evaluation at the Big Firm was my inability to do just that. I suppose it isn’t a lie since I am aware of the importance of it, I just have problems doing it, although I really think that next time would be different.
I wonder where the line is between "puffery" and outright lying. I've never made anything up, I've just glossed over things that are issues for me. A lot of the skills people look for these days are things that I have trouble with. I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you are good at things that may not necessary be strengths, as long as there are no outright fabrications [like saying you worked someplace you didn't, had experiences you didn't, etc.] I suppose nearly everyone does this, but sometimes I think, "Well, what do you expect? Your qualities are generally the opposite of what they want." But that's probably just me being negative. Still difficult to form a plan for interviewing when the main activity is to conceal things that would most likely be a red flag to interviewers. I probably shouldn't worry about it, doesn't look like my attempts at subterfuge have worked yet.
This other government job sounds like a better fit for me, seems to consist more of basic accounting functions for a single entity, although it would be a more limited range of experience than the county accountant/auditor job.
SOUND AND THE FURY is in transit, can't wait, although it will be hard going. I believe I've tried Faulkner before, but I am a more focused reader than I was then. I've had lots of practice over the past four or five months.
Almost time to start the Fitzgerald bio too!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
More Faulkner, my time at the USPS, and a birthday.
Still reading the Faulkner bio---it is WILLIAM FAULKNER, THE MAN AND THE ARTIST by Stephen B. Oates. Terrific biography, I'm breezing through it and have already put THE SOUND AND THE FURY on hold at the library.
One of the more interesting things is that Faulkner was quite the layabout in his youth, causing quite the stir in his Mississippi hometown. At one point, he had a position as postmaster of the Ole Miss post office, but "read and wrote poetry on the job, sold stamps and sorted mail only when he felt like it. . . and generally went about with a cheerful disregard for his duties and his customers." Sounds like the typical postal worker to me, I guess Faulkner was sort of a pioneer.
I worked for the Quasi-Governmental Corporation with a Reputation for Workplace Violence for nearly seven years, and sadly it is still the place where I had the most career success. At one point I put in for a supervisor training program, but did not get it due to lack of experience as well as difficulty with the government format of writing for job applications. Glad I didn't do it at this point, I don't think I would have done well, and I would not want to be like all the other poor supervisors I had while I was there.
There were some real characters there, and every so often I attempt to write something or other about the place, but I have never been able to stick with it for long. But each time I feel like it gets a little more workable, and I'm hoping eventually I may pull it off. I think sometimes the problem is that the reality seems too unbelievable, which is a common problem when you're writing about true events.
Happy 38th birthday today [March 29] to my cousin, a Major in the Air Force. We were pretty close as kids, more like brothers, really. I had not seen him for some time but we got together again last year [for a sad occasion, unfortunately, a death in the family] and talked for a long bit. One of the things he said seemed to me like a perfect line to use in either a poem or story, but I am perplexed about how to use it. I continue to work on it...and of course I won't say what it is until I do figure it out!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Hitting the wall. A sort-of Library Saturday. Writing about writing.
I think this may be the longest I've gone without an entry. I suppose this is the point where people often quit. Not me.
The rug remains below our feet--my wife's job is still on, and it is just HR being HR as far as why she hasn't gotten any official offer or anything. We are in good shape until the end of summer, where I will have to go through the whole unemployment extension merry go round again. Unless of course, I get a job.
Still haven't heard, don't expect to until next week sometime. The good news is I haven't yet gotten a rejection letter, I've had interviews where they obviously sent the rejection letter off the very next day, if not the day of the interview.
Anyway, I'm trying to put it out of my mind.
I always like it when I am the first to get a library book--I've had that experience a couple of times recently, for new books that have just been released and I've put on hold. Reading THE HEIGHTS by Peter Hedges [the guy who wrote WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE, and went on to do screenplays and some directing.] It's a little too New York and yuppiefied for me, but I will finish it. Reminds me somewhat of Tom Perotta's LITTLE CHILDREN. Wonder when Perotta will have a new one, I read THE ABSTINENCE TEACHER a while back and enjoyed it, although I found it lacking a little bit in substance.
Just picked up biographies of William Faulkner and F. Scott Fitzgerald, two writers that I have never had enough time to read much of. It's something I'm hoping to rectify soon. I've found it's good to read biographies of writers when I'm trying to get started reading them. Of course, in some cases it's not necessary [some would say it's never necessary, but I disagree] but sometimes it helps me get into the work a little more.
Visiting the video-game people again tomorrow. I guess it's good to get out every so often--I'll probably bring some really bad horror films to watch [the husband is into that, but is a neophyte in bad-movie territory so I am glad to teach him the siren song of crap.]
In a poetry writing mood. I won't subject you to it, but I find my mind going more toward poetry when I can't seem to focus long enough to write anything else [besides blog posts of course.] Raymond Carver once said that the reason he wound up never writing anything other than short stories, poems, and the like was because he had two children to look after. It sounds like he was joking, but he wasn't, he wrote an entire essay about it. The recent biography RAYMOND CARVER, A WRITER'S LIFE is an excellent read. When I was an undergrad English/Creative Writing major, he was considered like some kind of god, we had to read "Where I'm Calling From" in more than one class back then [although the all time record was "Heart of Darkness" which I had assigned to me five times over the course of my undergraduate career.]
Of course, he had only been dead a few years back then and quite a few of the people teaching had actually known him and been in the same writing programs [Iowa and the Stegner Fellowship at Stanford] with him. I wonder if he has the same influence today, although I would not be surprised if he still did--a friend of mine who went back to school a couple of years ago and took a writing class told me that most of the stuff they were telling them was pretty much out of the same playbook, everyone trying for the same hyper-realistic, unadorned, gritty style. But it's one of those things that looks easy, but isn't. And if someone has to try to do it, they probably shouldn't.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Post interview blues....
Well, at least it's over. Government job interviews are always rough, and this was no exception. Unlike the private sector, there is generally no attempt at friendly banter or rapport. I was given a sheet of paper with questions on it, and then had to answer each one. I did not always have a good answer. Actually, I'd say very few of my answers were good.
After that, I was able to ask questions of my own, and that went a little bit better.
All I can do is think about things I did wrong, times when I did not communicate well enough, and the feeling that I had the deer in the headlights look throughout the entire interview. I do not have anywhere near the type experience they want, but it is allegedly entry-level. We will see what happens. I can at least take comfort in the fact that my feelings about an interview have never been a reliable indicator of how it went--there have been several times when I thought I knocked it out of the park only to get a rejection e-mail or letter a few days later. This time I feel uncertain, so maybe it worked out?
Job will be a huge stretch for me, but I guess that is how it should be. I try to tell myself, "If I don't get the job, it means I was wrong for it." I should hear something by the end of next week. Also, we are anxious about my wife's job now, she starts in a week and we have yet to receive an "official" offer or get anything from HR. I am trying not to think about having the rug pulled out from under us, but it's always in the back of my mind.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Never mind...
It's Tuesday night and I decided the responsible thing is to prepare for my interview instead of blogging. So I'm blogging about my interview tomorrow.
Mainly studying, looking at the office's website, things like that. No way in hell I can remember all of it, but I can at least think of questions. I generally don't do so great under pressure, so I'm trying not to tell myself about how a lot is riding on this. But it is.
Mainly studying, looking at the office's website, things like that. No way in hell I can remember all of it, but I can at least think of questions. I generally don't do so great under pressure, so I'm trying not to tell myself about how a lot is riding on this. But it is.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Old Man Logic
So, the Father-in-Law gets back from his Reno trip. My wife asks if he won, he says not really, he won around 600, but he played it all [he plays keno, which if you look it up is officially the Worst Possible Game in the Casino.]
"So you ended up losing 900."
"No, I just lost the 300 that I brought."
"But you won 600 and played all of it, so that and the 300 you brought means you lost 900."
"No I didn't."
One time he won 200, put 180 back in, and considered it a winning session because he "came home with $20 of their money." This generally happens 4-5 times a week.
One of the reasons he likes to go to this particular casino is that he used to get all kinds of comps there a long time ago. But he doesn't get the comps anymore to eat at the "gourmet" steakhouse and they replaced the other restaurant he likes with a Denny's. So he basically traveled a few hundred miles and spent around $900 to eat at Denny's. "Food tastes better when it's free."
He's going to the local casino again tomorrow.
I know in some universe old people are wise, responsible, etc., but not in mine.
Next time, library books, sorta. Maybe even a picture.
"So you ended up losing 900."
"No, I just lost the 300 that I brought."
"But you won 600 and played all of it, so that and the 300 you brought means you lost 900."
"No I didn't."
One time he won 200, put 180 back in, and considered it a winning session because he "came home with $20 of their money." This generally happens 4-5 times a week.
One of the reasons he likes to go to this particular casino is that he used to get all kinds of comps there a long time ago. But he doesn't get the comps anymore to eat at the "gourmet" steakhouse and they replaced the other restaurant he likes with a Denny's. So he basically traveled a few hundred miles and spent around $900 to eat at Denny's. "Food tastes better when it's free."
He's going to the local casino again tomorrow.
I know in some universe old people are wise, responsible, etc., but not in mine.
Next time, library books, sorta. Maybe even a picture.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Friend Chicken
I’m still suffering from my father-in-law’s birthday party blowout at one of his favorite greasy spoon eateries. Over the last five or six months I’ve eaten relatively healthfully other than the occasional lapse [usually 2-3 days, which is why I’ve pretty much been losing and gaining the same seven or eight pounds since Thanksgiving.] This was probably one of the worst things I’d eaten in a while, fried chicken, fried mushrooms, fried onion rings…I think you get the overall theme here. And now my digestive system is lodging a complaint.
Food was delicious, though. I’m happy I’ve lost the weight I have, and I know I need to lose quite a bit more to be at a technically healthy weight according to the BMI charts, but sometimes I feel like I should just try to work on maintaining the weight I’m at. Of course, I guess if I quit striving to improve, I may end up gaining it all back….again!
But I feel healthy, I’m active, and my various bloodwork numbers are all really good, better than most people’s. I know long term, though, things would be better if I weighed less. I had a big weight gain right after I turned 30, and I imagine there will be a similar metabolic milestone sometime down the road unless I continue to work toward a healthier lifestyle. I am technically diabetic [have it under good control with medication and lifestyle changes to the point where if I lost a little more weight I could probably be “cured”] and have high blood pressure [also currently under control.] I have family members who have suffered from it and have health problems that make their lives pretty difficult in their old age, and I don’t want that to be me. But boy, that fried chicken [I keep misspelling it as “friend chicken”] was sure good.
My wife found my old audit textbook from school in a closet, so I’m going over it a little bit. I have to keep reminding myself I don’t really need to memorize things, just be able to talk intelligently about governmental and internal auditing. I am not really nervous yet, I probably should be.
Library Saturday will probably be pretty weak next time, I have not really made any progress in reading anything due to being busy otherwise.
Tonight my wife and I are visiting with one of her longtime friends and her family. They are really, really into online gaming. I kind of view video games as like some kind of addictive substance, I don’t want to take it because even though I might enjoy it I’d probably have a hard time stopping. One of the things is that her friend’s husband really wants me to get into playing games online, which I don’t want to do. Even if I were to play, I’d rather play alone so I could feel free to mess up and shoot the wrong people or shoot myself or whatever. I am too uncoordinated to be very good at any of it, and I certainly wouldn’t want to humiliate myself in “public.”
I was even bad at Pac-Man when I was a kid. No way could I handle shooting Nazis or zombies, or Nazi zombies, or whatever else they shoot in these games. Something is always shot.
Just noticed that I have finally reached the point where there are "Older posts." I think that is a first. I also don't think anyone has read this other than me. I guess I should start trying to "promote" this more, but you know how I am about marketing and networking...
Food was delicious, though. I’m happy I’ve lost the weight I have, and I know I need to lose quite a bit more to be at a technically healthy weight according to the BMI charts, but sometimes I feel like I should just try to work on maintaining the weight I’m at. Of course, I guess if I quit striving to improve, I may end up gaining it all back….again!
But I feel healthy, I’m active, and my various bloodwork numbers are all really good, better than most people’s. I know long term, though, things would be better if I weighed less. I had a big weight gain right after I turned 30, and I imagine there will be a similar metabolic milestone sometime down the road unless I continue to work toward a healthier lifestyle. I am technically diabetic [have it under good control with medication and lifestyle changes to the point where if I lost a little more weight I could probably be “cured”] and have high blood pressure [also currently under control.] I have family members who have suffered from it and have health problems that make their lives pretty difficult in their old age, and I don’t want that to be me. But boy, that fried chicken [I keep misspelling it as “friend chicken”] was sure good.
My wife found my old audit textbook from school in a closet, so I’m going over it a little bit. I have to keep reminding myself I don’t really need to memorize things, just be able to talk intelligently about governmental and internal auditing. I am not really nervous yet, I probably should be.
Library Saturday will probably be pretty weak next time, I have not really made any progress in reading anything due to being busy otherwise.
Tonight my wife and I are visiting with one of her longtime friends and her family. They are really, really into online gaming. I kind of view video games as like some kind of addictive substance, I don’t want to take it because even though I might enjoy it I’d probably have a hard time stopping. One of the things is that her friend’s husband really wants me to get into playing games online, which I don’t want to do. Even if I were to play, I’d rather play alone so I could feel free to mess up and shoot the wrong people or shoot myself or whatever. I am too uncoordinated to be very good at any of it, and I certainly wouldn’t want to humiliate myself in “public.”
I was even bad at Pac-Man when I was a kid. No way could I handle shooting Nazis or zombies, or Nazi zombies, or whatever else they shoot in these games. Something is always shot.
Just noticed that I have finally reached the point where there are "Older posts." I think that is a first. I also don't think anyone has read this other than me. I guess I should start trying to "promote" this more, but you know how I am about marketing and networking...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Happy 75th...
...to my Father-in-Law who lives with us. He took off this morning to go to the funeral of a friend's sister [doesn't sound like much fun to me, but I guess he felt like he needed to be there] but I'm sure he and my Mother-in-Law [she lives elsewhere...their relationship could be the basis for an entire career in psych research.]will make their way to at least one casino before the day is out. He's "pre-gaming" for a extended gambling trip this weekend [we got their win/loss statements for their taxes, and they are truly something to behold. And of course, they each immediately started fighting about how much the other gambled.]
I doubt we'll see him until sometime tonight.
I just wrote a paragraph about him that I decided to delete. I don’t want to share too much about people other than myself. I will just say that it I have crazy in-laws, and that it is difficult at times. Sometimes it is a funny kind of crazy, sometimes it’s just irritating crazy, and sometimes it is sad/scary crazy.
But hey, enough of all that, and let me wish the poor guy a happy 75th birthday.
It is also my own dad's birthday today, 61 years old! It's odd that they both have March 18 as a birthday, although I heard that mathematically, the odds are very good that you can find two people with the same birthday even in what would seem like a fairly small population, so I guess that is it. One of my professors would try it with his class every year [about 20-30 people] and always be able to find at least two people who shared a birthday. No idea what my dad might be up to, I live halfway across the country. He still works, so he is probably doing that, or maybe grilling something.
I'm studying governmental accounting stuff. I figure one thing I will have to sell them on is that I can do auditing even though I have never done it professionally.
I doubt we'll see him until sometime tonight.
I just wrote a paragraph about him that I decided to delete. I don’t want to share too much about people other than myself. I will just say that it I have crazy in-laws, and that it is difficult at times. Sometimes it is a funny kind of crazy, sometimes it’s just irritating crazy, and sometimes it is sad/scary crazy.
But hey, enough of all that, and let me wish the poor guy a happy 75th birthday.
It is also my own dad's birthday today, 61 years old! It's odd that they both have March 18 as a birthday, although I heard that mathematically, the odds are very good that you can find two people with the same birthday even in what would seem like a fairly small population, so I guess that is it. One of my professors would try it with his class every year [about 20-30 people] and always be able to find at least two people who shared a birthday. No idea what my dad might be up to, I live halfway across the country. He still works, so he is probably doing that, or maybe grilling something.
I'm studying governmental accounting stuff. I figure one thing I will have to sell them on is that I can do auditing even though I have never done it professionally.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Ah, interviewing.
Time to get another haircut---haven't done that since January, when I had my fiasco of an interview with the IRS. Also time to iron my suit, which I haven't worn since that same fiasco of an interview. Had to buy a new suit back then, I've lost weight over the past six months to where my old interview suit no longer fit. I figure at least I will get to wear my new suit twice. Most of the time people only wear suits when they're interviewing. Even ties are not worn a whole lot anymore.
I'm studying my governmental accounting/auditing standards. I still have some of my CPA review material, which should cover most of what I need to know as far as governmental accounting. The various audit standards I'm having to look up online.
Doubtful that they will specifically ask about any of this, but I need to be able to demonstrate that I know something about the type of work they do.
It is funny, when I was in school I didn't want to do audit at all. I was determined that tax was what I wanted to do. Now I'm the opposite, I'd rather get away from tax work just because it would take years before I was actually doing anything other than data entry and clerical tasks. And one of the "dream jobs" I had when I started studying accounting was working for a state or local government [other dream employers: a college/university, healthcare, or a non-profit setting.] I'm just really thankful that I'm getting the opportunity to correct my past mistakes. I feel that I would do much better in this environment than I would in a lot of the other jobs I'm looking at.
Still finishing up the James Tiptree biography. It doesn't end well.
I'm studying my governmental accounting/auditing standards. I still have some of my CPA review material, which should cover most of what I need to know as far as governmental accounting. The various audit standards I'm having to look up online.
Doubtful that they will specifically ask about any of this, but I need to be able to demonstrate that I know something about the type of work they do.
It is funny, when I was in school I didn't want to do audit at all. I was determined that tax was what I wanted to do. Now I'm the opposite, I'd rather get away from tax work just because it would take years before I was actually doing anything other than data entry and clerical tasks. And one of the "dream jobs" I had when I started studying accounting was working for a state or local government [other dream employers: a college/university, healthcare, or a non-profit setting.] I'm just really thankful that I'm getting the opportunity to correct my past mistakes. I feel that I would do much better in this environment than I would in a lot of the other jobs I'm looking at.
Still finishing up the James Tiptree biography. It doesn't end well.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I Am an Auditor for the County.....
...or hope to be. Today I got a call about a county government auditing job I had applied for back in January. I'd taken an accounting test last month and placed 4th out of probably around 100 people. I was not sure if that was good enough to get an interview or not since I figured it might be a situation where you have people tied for various places, but apparently it was.
So I'm brushing up on governmental auditing standards [found an auditor quality assurance program that they have on their website.] Have zero auditing experience, but I'm looking at my old CPA review material. Unfortunately I don't have the Auditing book, but I think I can find most of the important info online.
Having the CPA will help.
Things could be turning around, but the key is to be prepared.
So I'm brushing up on governmental auditing standards [found an auditor quality assurance program that they have on their website.] Have zero auditing experience, but I'm looking at my old CPA review material. Unfortunately I don't have the Auditing book, but I think I can find most of the important info online.
Having the CPA will help.
Things could be turning around, but the key is to be prepared.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Is it Monday?
When you're out of the workforce for a long period [going on nine months for me] you tend to forget about the days of the week.
Finished the Feinstein book—it was not as good as I thought it would be, but I finished it Saturday night [it was not very long.] The problem may have been that he was trying to tell the story of too many individuals so only a couple stood out, so a lot of the book had me saying “Now who is that again?” as I read.
The job search continues…got two nice e-mails from local firms I applied to over the weekend. They don’t need anyone right now, but one will re-visit things after tax season.
I appreciated the reply. That’s one nice thing about smaller firms, they are more likely to get back to people [but they don’t always do it!] With larger companies, the end result becomes one of those Unsolved Mysteries. I interviewed with the IRS twice this past year and never heard anything about what happened, just had to assume I was not selected when I never got a call.
My goal these days is to find a job before my current unemployment extension runs out in August. Now that we know we will be staying here a few years, it is easier to focus my job search. Before, we really had no idea where we were going to go or what to shoot for. The bad part is that employment opportunities here are pretty limited, but I think with patience and some effort, something will turn up eventually. I think I should be able to collect unemployment after August, but I’d rather not have to do that. I am tired of not working. I enjoy having the downtime to read, write, and so on, but I feel like the longer this goes on, the harder it will be to catch up. Accounting is not a static field and there are always changes in tax law, accounting practices, etc. If I’m out of the workforce for a significant period, it’s going to be more difficult. Hate to say it, but I am really banking on getting on with the IRS eventually, because they don’t really care about a lot of the things that are causing me problems getting hired elsewhere. That was the same reason I ended up at the Quasi-Federal Agency that is Known for Workplace Violence. They didn’t even interview me, they just looked at how I did on their exam and put me to work. Which is probably how they end up with their, ahem, somewhat “eccentric” workforce.
Finished the Feinstein book—it was not as good as I thought it would be, but I finished it Saturday night [it was not very long.] The problem may have been that he was trying to tell the story of too many individuals so only a couple stood out, so a lot of the book had me saying “Now who is that again?” as I read.
The job search continues…got two nice e-mails from local firms I applied to over the weekend. They don’t need anyone right now, but one will re-visit things after tax season.
I appreciated the reply. That’s one nice thing about smaller firms, they are more likely to get back to people [but they don’t always do it!] With larger companies, the end result becomes one of those Unsolved Mysteries. I interviewed with the IRS twice this past year and never heard anything about what happened, just had to assume I was not selected when I never got a call.
My goal these days is to find a job before my current unemployment extension runs out in August. Now that we know we will be staying here a few years, it is easier to focus my job search. Before, we really had no idea where we were going to go or what to shoot for. The bad part is that employment opportunities here are pretty limited, but I think with patience and some effort, something will turn up eventually. I think I should be able to collect unemployment after August, but I’d rather not have to do that. I am tired of not working. I enjoy having the downtime to read, write, and so on, but I feel like the longer this goes on, the harder it will be to catch up. Accounting is not a static field and there are always changes in tax law, accounting practices, etc. If I’m out of the workforce for a significant period, it’s going to be more difficult. Hate to say it, but I am really banking on getting on with the IRS eventually, because they don’t really care about a lot of the things that are causing me problems getting hired elsewhere. That was the same reason I ended up at the Quasi-Federal Agency that is Known for Workplace Violence. They didn’t even interview me, they just looked at how I did on their exam and put me to work. Which is probably how they end up with their, ahem, somewhat “eccentric” workforce.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Library Saturday!
Ever see the Twilight Zone episode about the guy who reads all the time at his bank job and is always in trouble for it? He hides in the vault to read, then discovers that a nuclear holocaust has occurred while he was on his book break. He decided to make the best of it by catching up on his reading. I won't reveal the rest of it, but it's one of my favorite episodes. Anyway, that's what the image is from.
I read constantly. One of the positive things about having all this downtime is that I have a lot more time to devote to reading. I am constantly approaching my limit of library books. Here are some of the things that I am reading.
James Tiptree Jr. Biography of noted science fiction author who wrote under a male psudonym for most of her career, only outing herself after she started winning awards. I wasn't familiar with Tiptree's work, but this book has really made me interested. It is a lot more complicated than a mere pseudonym, it's a case study in gender roles, stereotyping, and "voice' in literature. Just checked out one of her novels, and am looking forward to reading it.
TALES FROM Q SCHOOL by John Feinstein I love John Feinstein. He is probably one of the greatest sports writers in that he can draw you into reading about sports in which you would normally have no interest. I don't even care all that much about sports other than following college football, but I have read just about every Feinstein book I can get hold of, and I believe only one of those has been about college football [and even then it was on the Army/Navy rivalry, which involves two schools that are generally on the fringes of the collegiate gridiron.] And this is about golf, which I can't stand, but I have to admit golf makes for great drama and great writing. This is about Q school, a grueling series of tournaments that determine who gets a shot at being on the PGA tour. Most who attempt it don't succeed, and many times the margin between success and failure comes down to a single shot. You get young people trying to live their dreams, and old broken-down pros trying desperately to keep their dreams alive. And the bad part is, in most cases even if they do make it it's likely they will have to try to do it all over again next year. I will probably devour this book over the next couple of days.
I also read a couple of books by Stephen King's two sons, Joe Hill and Owen King. Joe Hill is following more explicitly in his father's footsteps, writing fantasy/horror fiction. I just finished his latest, HORNS. It is about a man who wakes up with horns on his head and the ability to get people to tell him their worst secrets, as well as the ability to convince people to act on those secrets. Owen King's WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER is more "literary" type fiction, the type you would see in college journals. It's the kind of thing all of us were trying to write back in my English major days. Both have their strengths and weaknesses...Joe Hill's novels so far [HORNS is his second] seem to lack a sense of scope, and although there are usually really great sequences sometimes things don't work as a whole. Owen King's stories can sometimes fall in the common trap of "academic" fiction, stories that are well written but sometimes take too long to go anywhere, some of his stories give me the "Is that it?" reaction.
Still interested in seeing what they do in the future, although it seems like Joe Hill is the one who is getting the most attention [probably because his work is more marketable.] Neither of them have a style that is similar to their father, and that is probably a good thing.
Speaking of college, I have an ongoing project where I like to read the books of my former professors from the University of Arkansas writing program. So far the one I've liked the most is from a prof whose class I liked the least. I actually wound up dropping his class at one point, but I really enjoyed Skip Hays' THE DIXIE ASSOCIATION about an ex-con who is paroled and plays on a minor-league baseball team who compete in a Southern league. Great characters, with a great voice. I also loved that much of the setting was in the eastern Oklahoma area where I grew up. Just checked out his most recent one DYING LIGHT a collection of short stories which look to be pretty gritty, I'm looking forward to checking it out. Honestly, he was not a bad professor, I was just kind of burnt out on English by the time I took his class and was kind of going through an existential crisis of sorts. I bet I would have liked the class if I'd taken it today.
So long, Scotty!
Apparently the Klingon and/or Romulan Empires have finally prevailed over the U.S.S. Enterprise, the Star Trek slot machines are no more. We asked a slot attendant and were told they'd been moved out. I was not surprised, the machines didn't seem all that popular, and generally those who played were disgruntled at how fast their money was being taken by the machine. We found a new one, though, called Time Machine which I really enjoyed playing. Didn't win, but got a decent amount of play for my $20. Also everyone got their lunch comped--none of us really had earned it, but I think the casino host decided to be nice.
I've been on a 50s Sci Fi kick lately, and was happy to see the giant ant classic THEM! on Turner Classic tonight. My father-in-law humored me and agreed to watch it and promptly fell asleep after about 30 minutes. Giant radioactive ants wreaking havoc in Los Angeles and other places, what's not to like? It actually got an Oscar nomination for special effects, which aren't all that bad considering it was 1954. Actually I've noticed a lot of the effects in those movies [the bigger budget ones] are actually pretty good, they don't seem nearly as fake as all the computer generated stuff today. Well, I mean, assuming you buy into the whole giant ant thing in the first place.
I'm expecting another one via Netflix tomorrow, THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS. I'm guessing this will not be one with relatively good special effects.
Library Book Saturday still going to happen later today, after I sleep and stuff.
Friday, March 12, 2010
You can't violate the laws of probability, Captain!
We're celebrating my wife's new job with lunch at one of the casinos. I'll probably give the STAR TREK machine a try--always enjoy that one. We are such penny ante gamblers, though, that we will probably quit early. Both of us usually feel guilty if we lose $20. My elderly in-laws will probably proceed to blow their monthly retirement checks. The tribe should name a wing of the casino after them.
To Account or not to Account
I am in a quandary. I did well in my accounting courses, was interested in it, still have an interest in tax issues, what’s going on with accounting standards, etc. Tax is one of the rare fields where pretty much every single person is affected by it. It appeals to my interest in politics, history, and how things work.
But I seem to have a really hard time making the jump from school to the “real world.”
Some of that is because the work you do as a new accountant is basically data entry clerical work. It’s more important to have a strong working knowledge of tax preparation software than anything else. The person who goes the farthest in the early stages of their career is the person who is best at knowing how the software works. I am not that person.
I continue to apply to firms. Public accounting is not really what I want to do. It’s one of those things that people put up with for a few years until they get enough experience to go someplace else. My wife just found a job, and that makes me want to get a job even more. I don’t want to be the slacker husband, although at least I'm probably going to still be collecting unemployment for a while. I’m interested in the IRS, but that will bring with it a whole new area of stress. I’ve interviewed with them twice over the last year and have a pretty good idea of the problems associated with being a revenue agent—pressure to close cases, uncooperative taxpayers and their representatives, and a ton of bureaucracy. Good benefits, though!
Recently heard from yet another former co-worker. Apparently the Big Firm had a massive bloodbath right before Thanksgiving. I was surprised at some of the names of those let go, they were people I knew were sharp and who always had a lot of work. I assume what happened is that the firm has lost so many clients that there was no longer anything for them to do. They expect the firm to cut more after April 15, and a lot of this year’s class of new hires are afraid they will be fired before they finish their first year [important to do this in order to qualify for the CPA license, otherwise you can’t get licensed until you complete a year of experience.]
Anyway, enough of that for now. Next time…Library Book Saturday!
But I seem to have a really hard time making the jump from school to the “real world.”
Some of that is because the work you do as a new accountant is basically data entry clerical work. It’s more important to have a strong working knowledge of tax preparation software than anything else. The person who goes the farthest in the early stages of their career is the person who is best at knowing how the software works. I am not that person.
I continue to apply to firms. Public accounting is not really what I want to do. It’s one of those things that people put up with for a few years until they get enough experience to go someplace else. My wife just found a job, and that makes me want to get a job even more. I don’t want to be the slacker husband, although at least I'm probably going to still be collecting unemployment for a while. I’m interested in the IRS, but that will bring with it a whole new area of stress. I’ve interviewed with them twice over the last year and have a pretty good idea of the problems associated with being a revenue agent—pressure to close cases, uncooperative taxpayers and their representatives, and a ton of bureaucracy. Good benefits, though!
Recently heard from yet another former co-worker. Apparently the Big Firm had a massive bloodbath right before Thanksgiving. I was surprised at some of the names of those let go, they were people I knew were sharp and who always had a lot of work. I assume what happened is that the firm has lost so many clients that there was no longer anything for them to do. They expect the firm to cut more after April 15, and a lot of this year’s class of new hires are afraid they will be fired before they finish their first year [important to do this in order to qualify for the CPA license, otherwise you can’t get licensed until you complete a year of experience.]
Anyway, enough of that for now. Next time…Library Book Saturday!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
My Big Mistake at the Big Firm, Epilogue and Miscellany.
It's hard to believe that a year ago, I pretty much had finished the last of my accounting work at my job and had began the long, slow death march to unemployment.
Sometimes it seems longer, sometimes it seems like I am still there. It may be one of those things that I won't really get past until I find a new job.
There are things I liked. It was my first "real" job as far as being in an office and not punching a time clock. I often felt a sense of achievement just being there, because I'd worked really hard in school, starting from community college accounting classes to finishing a Master's program less than three years later. I passed the CPA exam, something that a lot of people there had not been able to do [although some of that was because other people had a lot more work and so they had less time to study and prepare to take the exam.] I met a lot of people there, many of which I liked. We were one of the more diverse offices and there were folks there from all over the world. I was generally treated with respect.
But the truth was, there was really no place for me there. The partner was right, I was a "poor fit," Although it seems silly to blame someone for giving you a job,
the longer I was there the more I wondered why on Earth I was ever hired in the first place because I did not seem to have any of the qualities they wanted. I chalk it up to the "numbers game" I alluded to in an earlier post. Their business model relies on a large number of people being hired each year, with the expectation that the majority of them will be gone in two years. They also offered a job very early on, literally years before I graduated. I really should have continued to explore job opportunities even after accepting an offer with them.
I think I was also unhappy with the city I'd moved to, my living situation, etc., and that made it hard for me to really get excited by my job, especially when I had been there a couple of months and felt like there was really no purpose in my being there.
It's difficult. I feel like my career has been damaged by my decision to work there. The work we were doing was very specialized to that particular city and its industry, and pretty much none of the experience I did get is relevant to the job market where I'm at now. I am a CPA, but have no real experience. I basically have to start all over, and hope that next time I can do better. Oh well. I'm hoping sometime this year I might be able to redeem myself.
BTW, "De Minimis" basically means "inconsequential things." It's a tax/legal term for something that isn't really of importance, like a minor discrepancy. I've posted using the name at some of the other accounting sites, and think it's perfect.
Sometimes it seems longer, sometimes it seems like I am still there. It may be one of those things that I won't really get past until I find a new job.
There are things I liked. It was my first "real" job as far as being in an office and not punching a time clock. I often felt a sense of achievement just being there, because I'd worked really hard in school, starting from community college accounting classes to finishing a Master's program less than three years later. I passed the CPA exam, something that a lot of people there had not been able to do [although some of that was because other people had a lot more work and so they had less time to study and prepare to take the exam.] I met a lot of people there, many of which I liked. We were one of the more diverse offices and there were folks there from all over the world. I was generally treated with respect.
But the truth was, there was really no place for me there. The partner was right, I was a "poor fit," Although it seems silly to blame someone for giving you a job,
the longer I was there the more I wondered why on Earth I was ever hired in the first place because I did not seem to have any of the qualities they wanted. I chalk it up to the "numbers game" I alluded to in an earlier post. Their business model relies on a large number of people being hired each year, with the expectation that the majority of them will be gone in two years. They also offered a job very early on, literally years before I graduated. I really should have continued to explore job opportunities even after accepting an offer with them.
I think I was also unhappy with the city I'd moved to, my living situation, etc., and that made it hard for me to really get excited by my job, especially when I had been there a couple of months and felt like there was really no purpose in my being there.
It's difficult. I feel like my career has been damaged by my decision to work there. The work we were doing was very specialized to that particular city and its industry, and pretty much none of the experience I did get is relevant to the job market where I'm at now. I am a CPA, but have no real experience. I basically have to start all over, and hope that next time I can do better. Oh well. I'm hoping sometime this year I might be able to redeem myself.
BTW, "De Minimis" basically means "inconsequential things." It's a tax/legal term for something that isn't really of importance, like a minor discrepancy. I've posted using the name at some of the other accounting sites, and think it's perfect.
My Big Mistake at the Big Firm, Part The Last
I did my usual morning routine, getting coffee from the Flavia machine [each floor had at least one—it makes decent coffee and tea in a variety of flavors, although that variety had decreased significantly as a cost-cutting measure,] doing online trainings, reading articles [technical and otherwise,] planning on who to ask next about work, checking e-mail, and random websurfing. I remember that it was around 11 AM or so and I was starting to think about lunch. The phone rang. Uh oh…the display read that it was my “relationship partner” calling me. I knew that this was it.
“De Minimis, could you come see me in my office? Thanks…”
I had been thinking about this day for months, and trying to mentally prepare for it. Everyone from all the other firms who had made cuts said it happened like this. You get a call from a partner to come see them in their office. You get there and see the partner along with an HR person. The partner gives you the bad news, and then the HR person takes over the details. You sign some paperwork, turn in badges, laptops, etc., get your stuff, and leave the building.
Even though I had tried to steel myself for this, it was still a hard thing to see that it was really happening. I had flashbacks to grade school and being called to the principal’s office. I am extremely conflict-avoidant. Although I don’t think I really showed it, I felt like panicking. All of the cool Johnny Paycheck kiss-my-ass stuff you plan on saying goes out the window. I walked down the hall to the fancy Partner Row area. I thought about how this would be the last time I would be in this office where I had spent almost the entire past year. Finally, I reached my Relationship Partner’s office. Yep, there was the HR person.
Thankfully, it was the nicer one. I sat down.
Partners are often in love with the sound of their own voices. I guess it’s because they get paid to tell clients things. There were a couple I knew who were a little more straightforward, but my Relationship Partner wasn’t one of them. This particular fellow tended to turn anything he said into what seemed like a performance or a lecture. I don’t remember most of his spiel that day, just that he said “You’re just not a fit.” “Fit” is one of those words they like to throw around.
He went on to say that they were aware of my request as far as the file review process. “We’re not here to mess up people’s lives.” Apparently several partners and HR people had been having phone conversations over the past day regarding what to do about me, because they generally did not let people go until later in the summer. But they were able to make an exception. The Red Sea parted. This would be my last day [and actually, last few minutes] in the office.
Although I am pretty critical of how the Big Firm did a lot of things during my time there, I have nothing but good things to say about how they handled this. They were paying me around a month’s severance. They were going to sign off on my CPA license saying that I worked a year there even though I technically only worked 51 weeks. Had they not done this I probably would have had to wait for years to get my license, because no accounting job appears to be forthcoming. They were going to pay any outstanding business charges on my corporate card [I’d paid some professional society dues just a couple of weeks before.]
But the best thing they did, was that the HR lady was really nice and respectful. I brought my laptop to her office and formally handed it over to her along with my ID badge. She didn’t summon security the way one of the other HR people had done with other people they had let go. She said, “I’ll stay in the kitchen and you can get all of your things together. Then you can just leave as if you were going to lunch.”
My “cube neighbor,” a young hotshot that my wife and I liked to refer to as “Golden Boy,” worked silently as I did this. I’m pretty sure he knew what was up. I didn’t feel like saying goodbye to him [he was a genuinely nice guy, but the contrast between us was a little hard for me to take on a daily basis—everyone coming over and gabbing with him and putting him on projects while I sat next to him like some kind of pariah, Goofus to his Gallant.] I didn’t want to seek out the friends I had there, for fear that HR would quit being friendly.
I got in the elevator and hit the down button. I called my wife from my car and talked to her about half an hour about what we were going to do next. When I got home, I e-mailed my landlord and a few other people. Incidentally, my “coach” was also being let go later that summer. They were dissolving his practice area.
We moved back to where we are now. We own a house here. The job market is really terrible, but the cost of living is lower and my unemployment checks go farther. I’ve had three interviews over the last eight months. My wife recently had an interview, and the result will probably determine if we are going to stay here.
I think had I worked somewhere else, I probably would still be out of work right now, but would be in a better situation. I had a really bad time personally in the place I’d moved to work for the Big Firm. Ended up getting sued by a scumbag psychotic landlady [there is nothing worse than rich crazy people] and had to cash out my retirement account from my former job to pay a settlement [thankfully much less than she had wanted.] The cost of living in that city was so high that it was impossible for me to save anything and I constantly had to dip into savings in order to make ends meet. When you added it all up, I was essentially spending money in order to work there.
Although I didn’t really get the work experience I needed, I did learn a lot, both good and bad. I met a lot of nice people although I’ve found these days when I try to contact them they usually don’t do much other than add me to their Facebook. I guess I have the stink of failure on me. I get sad and frustrated when I think about going back to school and working hard to get a graduate degree, only to end up in a worse position.
“De Minimis, could you come see me in my office? Thanks…”
I had been thinking about this day for months, and trying to mentally prepare for it. Everyone from all the other firms who had made cuts said it happened like this. You get a call from a partner to come see them in their office. You get there and see the partner along with an HR person. The partner gives you the bad news, and then the HR person takes over the details. You sign some paperwork, turn in badges, laptops, etc., get your stuff, and leave the building.
Even though I had tried to steel myself for this, it was still a hard thing to see that it was really happening. I had flashbacks to grade school and being called to the principal’s office. I am extremely conflict-avoidant. Although I don’t think I really showed it, I felt like panicking. All of the cool Johnny Paycheck kiss-my-ass stuff you plan on saying goes out the window. I walked down the hall to the fancy Partner Row area. I thought about how this would be the last time I would be in this office where I had spent almost the entire past year. Finally, I reached my Relationship Partner’s office. Yep, there was the HR person.
Thankfully, it was the nicer one. I sat down.
Partners are often in love with the sound of their own voices. I guess it’s because they get paid to tell clients things. There were a couple I knew who were a little more straightforward, but my Relationship Partner wasn’t one of them. This particular fellow tended to turn anything he said into what seemed like a performance or a lecture. I don’t remember most of his spiel that day, just that he said “You’re just not a fit.” “Fit” is one of those words they like to throw around.
He went on to say that they were aware of my request as far as the file review process. “We’re not here to mess up people’s lives.” Apparently several partners and HR people had been having phone conversations over the past day regarding what to do about me, because they generally did not let people go until later in the summer. But they were able to make an exception. The Red Sea parted. This would be my last day [and actually, last few minutes] in the office.
Although I am pretty critical of how the Big Firm did a lot of things during my time there, I have nothing but good things to say about how they handled this. They were paying me around a month’s severance. They were going to sign off on my CPA license saying that I worked a year there even though I technically only worked 51 weeks. Had they not done this I probably would have had to wait for years to get my license, because no accounting job appears to be forthcoming. They were going to pay any outstanding business charges on my corporate card [I’d paid some professional society dues just a couple of weeks before.]
But the best thing they did, was that the HR lady was really nice and respectful. I brought my laptop to her office and formally handed it over to her along with my ID badge. She didn’t summon security the way one of the other HR people had done with other people they had let go. She said, “I’ll stay in the kitchen and you can get all of your things together. Then you can just leave as if you were going to lunch.”
My “cube neighbor,” a young hotshot that my wife and I liked to refer to as “Golden Boy,” worked silently as I did this. I’m pretty sure he knew what was up. I didn’t feel like saying goodbye to him [he was a genuinely nice guy, but the contrast between us was a little hard for me to take on a daily basis—everyone coming over and gabbing with him and putting him on projects while I sat next to him like some kind of pariah, Goofus to his Gallant.] I didn’t want to seek out the friends I had there, for fear that HR would quit being friendly.
I got in the elevator and hit the down button. I called my wife from my car and talked to her about half an hour about what we were going to do next. When I got home, I e-mailed my landlord and a few other people. Incidentally, my “coach” was also being let go later that summer. They were dissolving his practice area.
We moved back to where we are now. We own a house here. The job market is really terrible, but the cost of living is lower and my unemployment checks go farther. I’ve had three interviews over the last eight months. My wife recently had an interview, and the result will probably determine if we are going to stay here.
I think had I worked somewhere else, I probably would still be out of work right now, but would be in a better situation. I had a really bad time personally in the place I’d moved to work for the Big Firm. Ended up getting sued by a scumbag psychotic landlady [there is nothing worse than rich crazy people] and had to cash out my retirement account from my former job to pay a settlement [thankfully much less than she had wanted.] The cost of living in that city was so high that it was impossible for me to save anything and I constantly had to dip into savings in order to make ends meet. When you added it all up, I was essentially spending money in order to work there.
Although I didn’t really get the work experience I needed, I did learn a lot, both good and bad. I met a lot of nice people although I’ve found these days when I try to contact them they usually don’t do much other than add me to their Facebook. I guess I have the stink of failure on me. I get sad and frustrated when I think about going back to school and working hard to get a graduate degree, only to end up in a worse position.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
My Big Mistake at the Big Firm, Part Three
It is probably best to wait until I get some kind of readership before doing these multi-part posts. It is like making a series of movies that no one wants to see.
Oh well, hopefully by the time people start really looking at this I will have several other posts at the top so maybe they will interested enough in what I'm doing to read all this.
I freely admit a lot of the problems at the Big Firm were of my own making. I am a bad networker. I suppose I feel that if I wanted to be a salesperson, I would have gone into sales. But I’ve learned the hard way that a lot of life involves sales in one sense or another. All I really can do is be friendly and treat people with respect. Being outgoing, well, that is a stretch. Not impossible, but not something that comes naturally. And not something that I am able to do regularly. I had a list of nine or ten people that I felt comfortable asking for work. It has to be said that most of the work I did get involved clerical tasks such as copying, putting together documents, and so on. That’s fine. I hate when people have the attitude that they are too good for something.
What was frustrating was that none of this work ever seemed to develop into anything more substantial. It was seven months into my job before I actually got involved in putting together a tax return, and unfortunately I just didn’t have a good idea about what to do. Intellectually I knew how it worked, but had a hard time navigating the various software packages, etc. They had a training, but it was just that, one training. Their way of doing things is basically, we’ll give a training but after that you are expected to more or less know how to do something. You’re allowed maybe one or two slip-ups, but after that you better show immediate improvement or that’s it. I usually need a lot of repetition in order to learn anything, and a lot of time work was really intermittent, so I took too long to improve. Business is not like school and I understand that you can't sacrifice the project for the sake of employee development, but I found it really difficult.
I made the classic rookie mistake of not asking for help. Towards the end of *my* busy season [I was not really involved in the process after mid-March since they didn’t really trust me any longer] I improved somewhat, but I guess it wasn’t enough. I’m hoping that is a lesson I can take to my next job, whenever that might be. Ask for help! You don’t have to go to someone every single time there’s an issue, but stay in contact. Maybe have a list of questions so you can get everything answered in an efficient manner.
I think that is something I would have had to learn no matter where I worked, but I do think had I worked someplace else I might have been given more of a chance to put what I had learned into action. Seniors apparently got tired of dealing with me, and a lot of my work was given to, yep, interns.
I spent roughly the last four months of my job not being assigned to anything. I knew I was in trouble, but my various inquiries regarding work went unanswered. My days were spent surfing the Web and doing technical trainings online. It got extremely boring after a while. Some people like the idea of a job where they don't really do anything, but I found it very demoralizing.
I began saving e-mails and documents in case I had to defend an unemployment claim [ALWAYS save everything that might help you with this. Pay stubs, e-mails from leadership about how things are going, e-mails regarding your performance, anything else that you can use in case they say you were fired due to misconduct.] Of course, if you are in a state where you can’t get unemployment if you’re terminated, you’re probably out of luck. Thankfully, in California you can get unemployment if they let you go for being bad at your job. We would have been in even bigger trouble otherwise, and most likely I would be writing this from my parents' home because we would have been in foreclosure by now.
The last few weeks were very odd. I knew that something was going to happen soon, and as I went into the month of June I often thought to myself, I am in the final days of my being here. All of the paperwork for the year-end reviews had been submitted. They had a committee who reviewed each employee’s file to determine how well they did. My lease was up at the end of June and I asked my coach if I could learn the results of the review as soon as I could so I could give notice to my landlord in case the result was not a good one [I did not say this, but I was operating under the assumption that it would not be.] The last day of the month began like my usual day...
Oh well, hopefully by the time people start really looking at this I will have several other posts at the top so maybe they will interested enough in what I'm doing to read all this.
I freely admit a lot of the problems at the Big Firm were of my own making. I am a bad networker. I suppose I feel that if I wanted to be a salesperson, I would have gone into sales. But I’ve learned the hard way that a lot of life involves sales in one sense or another. All I really can do is be friendly and treat people with respect. Being outgoing, well, that is a stretch. Not impossible, but not something that comes naturally. And not something that I am able to do regularly. I had a list of nine or ten people that I felt comfortable asking for work. It has to be said that most of the work I did get involved clerical tasks such as copying, putting together documents, and so on. That’s fine. I hate when people have the attitude that they are too good for something.
What was frustrating was that none of this work ever seemed to develop into anything more substantial. It was seven months into my job before I actually got involved in putting together a tax return, and unfortunately I just didn’t have a good idea about what to do. Intellectually I knew how it worked, but had a hard time navigating the various software packages, etc. They had a training, but it was just that, one training. Their way of doing things is basically, we’ll give a training but after that you are expected to more or less know how to do something. You’re allowed maybe one or two slip-ups, but after that you better show immediate improvement or that’s it. I usually need a lot of repetition in order to learn anything, and a lot of time work was really intermittent, so I took too long to improve. Business is not like school and I understand that you can't sacrifice the project for the sake of employee development, but I found it really difficult.
I made the classic rookie mistake of not asking for help. Towards the end of *my* busy season [I was not really involved in the process after mid-March since they didn’t really trust me any longer] I improved somewhat, but I guess it wasn’t enough. I’m hoping that is a lesson I can take to my next job, whenever that might be. Ask for help! You don’t have to go to someone every single time there’s an issue, but stay in contact. Maybe have a list of questions so you can get everything answered in an efficient manner.
I think that is something I would have had to learn no matter where I worked, but I do think had I worked someplace else I might have been given more of a chance to put what I had learned into action. Seniors apparently got tired of dealing with me, and a lot of my work was given to, yep, interns.
I spent roughly the last four months of my job not being assigned to anything. I knew I was in trouble, but my various inquiries regarding work went unanswered. My days were spent surfing the Web and doing technical trainings online. It got extremely boring after a while. Some people like the idea of a job where they don't really do anything, but I found it very demoralizing.
I began saving e-mails and documents in case I had to defend an unemployment claim [ALWAYS save everything that might help you with this. Pay stubs, e-mails from leadership about how things are going, e-mails regarding your performance, anything else that you can use in case they say you were fired due to misconduct.] Of course, if you are in a state where you can’t get unemployment if you’re terminated, you’re probably out of luck. Thankfully, in California you can get unemployment if they let you go for being bad at your job. We would have been in even bigger trouble otherwise, and most likely I would be writing this from my parents' home because we would have been in foreclosure by now.
The last few weeks were very odd. I knew that something was going to happen soon, and as I went into the month of June I often thought to myself, I am in the final days of my being here. All of the paperwork for the year-end reviews had been submitted. They had a committee who reviewed each employee’s file to determine how well they did. My lease was up at the end of June and I asked my coach if I could learn the results of the review as soon as I could so I could give notice to my landlord in case the result was not a good one [I did not say this, but I was operating under the assumption that it would not be.] The last day of the month began like my usual day...
My Big Mistake at the Big Firm, Part Two
I was thirty-five when I started at the Big Firm. In other words, I was usually about twelve years older than most of my fellow new hires. I was about ten years older than most of the senior staff that were directly above me. I was about the same age as a lot of the directors—senior manager types who usually had at least a decade of experience. I was actually older than a few of them. Age is just a number, right? Yes and no. And though age is not the only reason for my failure at the Big Firm, I think it is a major underlying reason for a lot of the issues I encountered.
It’s probably due to immaturity, but I generally did not see myself as being older than my co-workers, that is, it was not something I really thought much about on a regular basis.
Nor was it something that they brought up regularly, I think only a couple of times and even then it was more a case of wanting to know what I did before I came to the firm.
One of the main problems I had there was networking. Networking is the lifeblood of big organizations. If you can’t do it, if you can’t “put yourself out there,” you will not be able to find work, and soon your career will be on life support as mine was the last three or four months of my tenure. Unfair or not, people tend to associate with those who are similar to themselves. Most of the groups at my former job generally involved people who had gone to school together, partied together, played sports together, and so on. I did not have that type of connection with anyone who could really help my career. I had a “coach,” a director who was supposedly my mentor, but he was unable to do much to help me find work. His area of expertise was very specialized. Only one other person was in his workgroup, a manager. They did not require anyone at my staff level. So he was not able to do much other than attempt to introduce me to people during my first couple of weeks. The rest of the time he would check in every so often and basically ask me why I had been unable to find work. The HR “scheduler” did the same thing. I was placed on one assignment which I was not able to accept because I had already committed myself to a project which I had found on my own. After that apparently I was on the scheduler’s bad list. Other than a couple of projects during busy season, she never placed me on anything else the rest of my time there. She would just occasionally harangue me about why I wasn’t finding work.
I guess I should explain the concept of “finding work,” because it is one that I had a lot of trouble with. Accounting is not like working in a blue collar job, or even most office jobs that I had in the past. You are on your own to find something to do, to get yourself assigned to a project. Never mind that you know no one there, and have no experience.
Never mind that you are competing with co-workers who have interned in the past and have began their full-time career with a pre-existing network of contacts who prefer to work with them instead of with an unknown element such as yourself [see why my not being an intern wound up being a huge disadvantage?]. You are expected to find work.
It is basically looking for a job at your job, and it is almost as frustrating as job searching is for the unemployed. Or at least, that was the way things were at the Big Firm. I understand that things work differently at smaller firms. I am hoping at some point I can find out for myself.
If I had began in 2006 or 2007, there probably would have been no problem finding work. With my usual timing, I began my career just as the recession began picking up steam. The Big Firm began losing clients to smaller, less expensive firms. The clients who remained wanted a price break. The end result was, much less work to go around.
The partners began to lose money. Perks were cut. Occasionally, an e-mail would go out from someone who was leaving. Others would leave involuntarily. This all began not long after I started, and I was about halfway through my year there when I had the realization that things were not going to work out.
I’m hoping this doesn’t come off as bitter. Some of it can’t be helped. Not everything was negative. A lot of what happened was more or less my fault too. I will think a bit more about it, and post again later.
It’s probably due to immaturity, but I generally did not see myself as being older than my co-workers, that is, it was not something I really thought much about on a regular basis.
Nor was it something that they brought up regularly, I think only a couple of times and even then it was more a case of wanting to know what I did before I came to the firm.
One of the main problems I had there was networking. Networking is the lifeblood of big organizations. If you can’t do it, if you can’t “put yourself out there,” you will not be able to find work, and soon your career will be on life support as mine was the last three or four months of my tenure. Unfair or not, people tend to associate with those who are similar to themselves. Most of the groups at my former job generally involved people who had gone to school together, partied together, played sports together, and so on. I did not have that type of connection with anyone who could really help my career. I had a “coach,” a director who was supposedly my mentor, but he was unable to do much to help me find work. His area of expertise was very specialized. Only one other person was in his workgroup, a manager. They did not require anyone at my staff level. So he was not able to do much other than attempt to introduce me to people during my first couple of weeks. The rest of the time he would check in every so often and basically ask me why I had been unable to find work. The HR “scheduler” did the same thing. I was placed on one assignment which I was not able to accept because I had already committed myself to a project which I had found on my own. After that apparently I was on the scheduler’s bad list. Other than a couple of projects during busy season, she never placed me on anything else the rest of my time there. She would just occasionally harangue me about why I wasn’t finding work.
I guess I should explain the concept of “finding work,” because it is one that I had a lot of trouble with. Accounting is not like working in a blue collar job, or even most office jobs that I had in the past. You are on your own to find something to do, to get yourself assigned to a project. Never mind that you know no one there, and have no experience.
Never mind that you are competing with co-workers who have interned in the past and have began their full-time career with a pre-existing network of contacts who prefer to work with them instead of with an unknown element such as yourself [see why my not being an intern wound up being a huge disadvantage?]. You are expected to find work.
It is basically looking for a job at your job, and it is almost as frustrating as job searching is for the unemployed. Or at least, that was the way things were at the Big Firm. I understand that things work differently at smaller firms. I am hoping at some point I can find out for myself.
If I had began in 2006 or 2007, there probably would have been no problem finding work. With my usual timing, I began my career just as the recession began picking up steam. The Big Firm began losing clients to smaller, less expensive firms. The clients who remained wanted a price break. The end result was, much less work to go around.
The partners began to lose money. Perks were cut. Occasionally, an e-mail would go out from someone who was leaving. Others would leave involuntarily. This all began not long after I started, and I was about halfway through my year there when I had the realization that things were not going to work out.
I’m hoping this doesn’t come off as bitter. Some of it can’t be helped. Not everything was negative. A lot of what happened was more or less my fault too. I will think a bit more about it, and post again later.
My Big Mistake at the Big Firm, Part One.
I’m trying to get some posts together so this won’t become one of those sad little blogs where you have two or three posts before the person loses interest. I hope to have at least seven or eight posts before that happens.
So…I majored in English and discovered this mainly prepared me for reading slightly better books during my lunch breaks at my blue collar job. I am not complaining. I was damned lucky to fall into the job I did, I was making good money and had good benefits.
But, although it wasn’t exactly ditch digging or coal mining, it was physical and not easy on me. The hours were bad, and the work conditions were stressful. I won’t say where it was, but let’s just say when I told new acquaintances where I worked, they would make a joke about me going berserk and shooting everyone. Anyway, I would sit in my car during my lunch break and wish that I’d done more with my education.
I went through big life changes a few years ago that caused me to leave that job and gave me the opportunity to go back to school. I knew that accountants were finding jobs due to post-Enron regulations and decided to go to graduate school in Accountancy. I generally did pretty well, and was lucky enough to do interviews at a time where I had 3.8 GPA. I interviewed with the various Big Firms, but only one showed any interest. I think the others decided that I did not bear enough resemblance to the profile of their typical hire. But yes, one of the Big Firms was interested and invited me to their office for a second round of interviews.
Long story short, they ended up hiring me, sort of. I had interviewed for an internship but they said no to that and ended up offering me a full-time job when I graduated. Looking back, and knowing more about how the firms operate, I should have known that their rejection of me as an intern should have indicated that I was not a “good fit” for them. But at the time, I viewed it as positive, that they liked me so much they did not even want to mess with an internship. These days, I know that this particular Big Firm liked to hire pretty much anyone who met their minimum standards, just so they could brag about hiring the most new grads in order to entice students to work there.
My decision to work there ended up being a Major Mistake, one of those ones that you kick yourself over and over for making. The type that you start whining and crying about when you get drunk. A country-music song type of mistake. And I will tell you more about it after I have a good think about what I should and should not write.
So…I majored in English and discovered this mainly prepared me for reading slightly better books during my lunch breaks at my blue collar job. I am not complaining. I was damned lucky to fall into the job I did, I was making good money and had good benefits.
But, although it wasn’t exactly ditch digging or coal mining, it was physical and not easy on me. The hours were bad, and the work conditions were stressful. I won’t say where it was, but let’s just say when I told new acquaintances where I worked, they would make a joke about me going berserk and shooting everyone. Anyway, I would sit in my car during my lunch break and wish that I’d done more with my education.
I went through big life changes a few years ago that caused me to leave that job and gave me the opportunity to go back to school. I knew that accountants were finding jobs due to post-Enron regulations and decided to go to graduate school in Accountancy. I generally did pretty well, and was lucky enough to do interviews at a time where I had 3.8 GPA. I interviewed with the various Big Firms, but only one showed any interest. I think the others decided that I did not bear enough resemblance to the profile of their typical hire. But yes, one of the Big Firms was interested and invited me to their office for a second round of interviews.
Long story short, they ended up hiring me, sort of. I had interviewed for an internship but they said no to that and ended up offering me a full-time job when I graduated. Looking back, and knowing more about how the firms operate, I should have known that their rejection of me as an intern should have indicated that I was not a “good fit” for them. But at the time, I viewed it as positive, that they liked me so much they did not even want to mess with an internship. These days, I know that this particular Big Firm liked to hire pretty much anyone who met their minimum standards, just so they could brag about hiring the most new grads in order to entice students to work there.
My decision to work there ended up being a Major Mistake, one of those ones that you kick yourself over and over for making. The type that you start whining and crying about when you get drunk. A country-music song type of mistake. And I will tell you more about it after I have a good think about what I should and should not write.
Failure: An introduction.
Why another accounting blog? I look at some of the other blogs out there and they are generally either (a.) rah-rah pre-recession career advice, (b.) blogs targeted more toward experienced professionals, or (c.) blogs narrowly focused on particular areas, such as auditing. I suppose the main purpose of this blog is as a counterbalance to (a.), and also to provide something for those who aren’t quite at the point where they can really appreciate (b) and (c.)
I am a thirty-something liberal arts degree holder who went into accounting because it seemed to have good job opportunity and was a versatile degree that didn’t limit people to a particular career path. Unlike a lot of others of my academic background, I didn’t have an aversion to working with numbers and was actually pretty good at basic math and algebra. Accountants were getting hired left and right, and it seemed like a good move. Maybe it still is a good move. Hard to say right now as I have been unemployed for the past eight months, ever since parting ways with the Big Firm. More about that later. I figure I am still better off than a lot of people. I still get interviews occasionally. I have a CPA license, even though I am still essentially an entry level hire. I feel confident I can get a job if I can ever get myself to an area with a better job market. Accounting firms are in a state of chaos in my current location and there is just not much hiring going on.
Still, the public perception is that accounting is “safe.” “There will always be a need for accountants.” Maybe so, but there are more than enough people to meet the need right now. I wonder if accounting will become like law, with a glut of people graduating each year and only a handful getting good jobs while the rest struggle to find whatever they can to the point where they might have been better off had they studied something else. That is the position we’re in right now. I hope that things will straighten out by the time a lot of the current students graduate, but I am no longer certain that will be the case.
So this blog is generally designed to document my frustration as a newly minted CPA who has a bad case of impostor syndrome. No, there probably won’t be a lot of technical info, although I may occasionally link to things here and there. There are plenty of people already doing that.
P.S. I don't know if anyone will ever read this from the very beginning, but it's funny to read the early posts and to see how I pretty much abandoned any type of accounting subject matter early on. So, in the unlikely event that someone is reading this from the beginning and wanting to hear more about taxes and accounting, I'm sorry! I decided not to even write about it after a while, other than bitching about the job market and the Big Four. I guess it's a sign that accounting is pretty much "just a job" for me. I guess right now, it's not even that.
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