Not so crazy heart....

Saw CRAZY HEART this weekend and was generally disappointed. It has a lot of the weaknesses of indie films, just not good enough of a story to sustain interest. A lot of independent films, even the ones I like, are “little stories” which sometimes works out, but a lot of times I get the same “Is that it?” reaction that I have with a lot of the newer books these days. It was also about 20 minutes too long.

Too bad, because the movie did have potential. Jeff Bridges’ performance is really good, and I dug how he resembled Waylon Jennings during the first half of the film---looked quite a bit like him, and the singing style was similar. They even have “Are You Sure Hank Done it This Way?” on the soundtrack at one point. But the story was pretty tired, and I was often able to predict what was going to happen. Sometimes I would think something really bad would happen and it would end up being not that big a deal.

I get tired of stories where the main character learns a lesson, transforms, etc. I understand the need people have to see feel-good transformative stories [sorry if I’m giving too much away]. But let’s face it, life isn’t that way most of the time. I’d rather see something where the main character doesn’t change, or where they are met with a challenge but fail. Or, so much like the real world, instead of them being redeemed by other people, they drag others down with them. But I guess not many would want to see or read something like that. Too many are probably living it.

Huzzah.

Got a call yesterday from the tax auditor, they got everything and are closing our case. Pretty sure they took one look at it and it was obvious there was no way we had enough income to be required to file. The auditor was pretty happy, she got a quick case closure without really having to do anything other than look over our stuff.

I'm saving all the stuff for later, the IRS will probably want to know about that year at some point.

If readers are ever in a position where they don't file a tax return since they didn't make enough money to file [and really, you should always file unless you had absolutely no income at all or had no tax withholding at all--which was our situation] save all your bank statements for that year in case you ever have to show that you didn't meet the filing requirement. Makes things a lot easier---even though these days it can be pretty easy to retrieve old bank statements online, not all banks have online access to things from years ago, which was our situation.

It is also probably smart to save the check images [do any banks still send cancelled checks?] for mortgage payments or anything else like that you make during the year.
The only reason we tripped their trigger was because we paid our mortgage that year, and the lender reported the mortgage interest to the IRS and state tax people as they are required to do. They saw that we paid mortgage interest yet did not file a return, so of course they wondered if we had income and weren't reporting it.

One of the lesser known headaches of property ownership, I guess. Makes me want to go "off the grid" but my idea of "off the grid" is going more than a few hours without getting on the internet.

No new tale to tell.

Waiting for a call from the bank about some check images I need in order to get everything sent off to the state. I had told the person I was going to get them something about a week ago, but at the time I thought everything could be easily obtained online. This was true for one of our bank accounts but not for the other one, and unfortunately that was the one that was the most important one.

Update: they called, I'm picking it up today. I'm hoping this will all be over with pretty soon. It isn't really that big of a deal, but it still is stressful and makes me nervous. I can only imagine what this would be like for someone who either was hiding something or had done something wrong due to not knowing any better [very easy to do for the average person, especially the small business owners who most often get into tax trouble] and was dealing with the possibility of having a significant tax liability as a result.

I guess it's similar to how regular citizens feel uncomfortable whenever they have some kind of encounter with police. Same thing, really. It's probably harder to "accidentally" get into serious legal trouble, but it's fairly easy for someone to end up on the wrong side of the IRS or a state or local tax agency. Incidentally, most tax people will tell you that it's a lot easier to deal with the IRS than state or local tax authorities. I'm hoping for the best.

Sort of good news....

...I guess. For the very first time, I have completely filled out my job search form on my unemployment continuing claim forms, which means I have applied to 10 jobs in less than two weeks. In the past, I have been doing well if I could find five jobs, and many times I only found four [which I think is the minimum requirement.] A lot of those times I did not actually apply to a job, I only submitted a resume to a firm or company who did not appear to be actively hiring anyone. This was especially common in the winter months. All of these are actual jobs, although around half of them are government type jobs where I may never hear anything. But at least half of them are local.

Will it amount to anything? Who knows, but at least it's something, and maybe a sign that hiring is picking up, even in this economic cesspool that I call home.

Bonnie Jo Campbell could beat me up.

I’m playing Literary Social Networking again. This was how I spent most of the winter months—I’d get a book I liked, go to the author’s website [almost all authors have websites,] see books they recommended, read those, then repeat the whole process. This time I looked at the blurbs on the back of THE LONELY POLYGAMIST, and saw one by a writer named Bonnie Jo Campbell, and saw that she had a collection of stories out called AMERICAN SALVAGE that had been a finalist for the National Book Award. I checked that out and am now going through her other work. AMERICAN SALVAGE is what I like to call “Grit Lit” although I imagine that is something I read somewhere else, I doubt if it’s something I came up with completely on my own. Not grit as in “grits and gravy” but grit as in rough and sandy. AMERICAN SALVAGE is mostly set in small town Michigan, with put-upon people who sometimes do drastic things. I have no idea who won the National Book Award that year, but I imagine the events and images of these stories might have been too much for whoever judged the whole thing. Still can’t get some of them out of my head.

Bonnie Jo Campbell lives in Kalamazoo, raises donkeys and is a martial arts enthusiast.
Not just karate or judo, but some other type that I haven’t heard of. Usually when people study a martial art that most people haven’t heard of, generally that means they are not someone to be trifled with. Even her website challenges,“Do you think you can beat me up?”

Another “grit lit” writer I enjoy is Daniel Woodrell [he uses the term "Country Noir" which is much better], who wrote WOE TO LIVE ON, a Civil War era novel that was adapted into the Ang Lee film RIDE WITH THE DEVIL. Although that’s what he’s most known for [so far] his more contemporary work is better in my opinion—I recently read what supposedly is a YA novel [at least that’s where my library had it] called WINTER'S BONE but I suspect my library may have just thought that was where it belonged because of the age of the protagonist, because its story set in the hills of Missouri is pretty harrowing, although some of the events have an almost mythic quality [if you read it, you’ll know what I mean.] I heard they’re making a movie of it.

Had a good thrift store find last week, SALVATION ON SAND MOUNTAIN, a non-fiction book about the snake handling churches in the South. I’ve read it before and really enjoyed it, I’m really glad to have found it. Back when I worked at Borders some annoying young person was all angry that we didn’t have it because she needed it for a class [I gather it was a situation where she had put off buying the book until the last minute.] This book had been a college textbook also [had the yellow USED sticker all colleges seem to have even since I was first in college nearly 20 years ago] so I’m guessing it is a commonly assigned text these days. I wonder what class uses it---I would guess some kind of sociology class. Fascinating book. I was raised in the Pentecostal church so I’m familiar with the basis of their beliefs, but of course, no one I knew ever took things that far [I think we used a verse about “not tempting the Lord thy God” as a warning not to deliberately do such things as drinking poison or handling rattlesnakes.]

I have been slow to blog lately but will probably do more at least for a while. Over the weekend I decided to severely curtail a lot of my “non-productive” internet activity such as participating on message boards, etc. I’ll still use Facebook because I like to keep up with friends and family members, but I want to cut down on that too. I want to write more…just started a new story, and maybe I will even manage to finish this one. I consider blogging a “productive” activity because it generally is a warm-up for writing or whatever else I need to do. I know other writers who use it the same way.
I’m still getting crap together for the tax audit. I want to at least start sending things although I don’t have everything they will probably need yet. It is such a waste of time, but I’m hoping that after they look at our bank statements they’ll realize it will cost more to examine everything than the measly 20-30 dollars that we’d end up paying even if they came to the wrong conclusion regarding our income for that year.

I’m hoping it’s one of those things where it ends up being a good thing in the end. I think I said this already, but the federal agency I hope to work for later this year will want to do an audit of the last few years, so they will need all this information so at least I will have it available right away. Maybe this is a sign that I’m going to need to do that in the future.

In other news....

Looks like we're being audited by the state tax commission. Got a letter today asking about why we didn't file a return a few years ago when we made payments on our mortgage. Guess they think we're hiding something.

I called them and explained that I was a full-time grad student that year that we made our mortgage payments out of student loan proceeds, gifts from family, and credit card advances, and that we had no work or income that year. I have to send some bank statements, it would be relatively uncomplicated other than that one of our bank accounts is a joint account between my wife and my father-in-law, so I'm afraid they're going to think his income [he had some gambling winnings that year] is ours, or that we're using that account to hide something. He's going to end up being dragged into this in some way, and that will be what complicates things. Still, I know we're right, it's just a matter of having documentation. I have some of the stuff already, will have to run to the bank to get some of the earlier statements tomorrow.

Not really that bad since I know we'll eventually be okay, also I will need this information at some point because I will have to undergo a 3 year tax audit in order to work for the federal agency I've applied to, so it's better to get the info together now.

Batching it.

Sitting at home, watching bad movies like HORROR PLANET, an ALIEN rip-off where some lady in outer space gets knocked up by an alien. The mother-to-be then proceeds to attack and eat her crewmates, after all, she’s eating for two…so far, my description makes it sound better than it actually is. Very cheap sets, bad dubbing, terrible dialogue, etc. Would be more fun with alcohol, but I’m going to get some labs done tomorrow so I am done with anything but water until around 9 AM tomorrow.

Applied to some other government jobs, and got some news about one of the ones I applied to earlier—I’m “tentatively qualified” and soon it will be time for the next stage, the interview. When it will be, I’m not sure, I’m trying to at least get an estimate of it.
This will probably be my best chance this year. Supposedly they had a hard time getting enough qualified applicants for my area, and this is entry level. I’ve interviewed twice before with this agency, so I should have a decent shot since I kind of know what they’re looking for. [I didn’t make it the first time because of various snafus and mix-ups due to my interviewing someplace other than the office to which I’d applied. I didn’t make it the second time because they only had one vacancy and I think they were put off by the fact that I was going to be relocating from out of state just to work there.

So just a quiet evening of reading, watching stuff, and a few chores here and there.


And hey, looks like this is post #50!

Get to the point.

So, I'm down to the last 100 or so pages of THE LONELY POLYGAMIST, and so far I really like it. Very funny book. But it has one flaw that I'm seeing a lot these days: books that are almost all foreshadowing. Hundreds of pages are spent leading up to something, and then it's resolved suddenly at the very end, with the reaction being, "Is that it?" I am nearly 500 pages into this book. There are two key "actions" that the book has been leading toward this entire time. Neither of them have happened yet,and one of them has barely even started happening. I enjoy the book, but there could be more of a progression and development of these key plot elements instead of hundreds of pages of "something is about to happen."

I also dislike the way a lot of time is spent on character development for certain characters, only to have them mainly serve as a device to accomplish something in the plot. They themselves are not all that integral to the story. Or at least that's how it seems so far. The book is around 600 pages. I wonder if a lot of things were cut out. There is a lot of backstory that is never spoken about which would seem important to know. There are other things that are alluded to only once or twice that would seem to have great significance later, but they are never mentioned again.

It seems like it would be better to have a clear beginning, middle, and end to these conflicts occurring through the book, although I think I can see what the author may be doing with some of this. As a reader though, it is somewhat of a letdown, and I see it more and more these days. Some of the books I've read, I feel like they are basically novellas or sometimes even short stories pumped full of air.

THE LONELY POLYGAMIST is still a fun book. I'm hoping something will happen in the next hundred pages that will make it all work perfectly. I will probably find out later this morning.

It's okay, really....

I guess I just needed to get that out of my system last week, like the flu.

I'm better now. Just want to get through this week, I have to go to the damned mechanic's yet again tomorrow to get my wife's car fixed [both cars required repairs at pretty much the exact same time] and she's got to go away for a work conference a couple of days this week so I am bummed about that. We'd planned on my going at first, but her boss told her it wasn't okay for some bullshit reason. We thought about doing it anyway [my being there would not cause the alleged "problem" her boss is concerned about] but decided not to risk giving any more cause for strained relations at work.
Maybe when she's been there a while longer it will be easier to kind of disregard stupid shit the boss says, especially regarding stuff that isn't really anyone's business other than ours. Anyway, I will feel much better when she gets home later this week.

I'll probably just try to read, watch some crappy movies, maybe drink a little. I don't know. It's odd, that was how I spent the vast majority of my time before I got married, but these days the notion of doing this even for just a couple of days depresses me.

The hangover

I’ve been through this a few times before, it is never fun. First you say that it’s okay and that you’re okay, as was the case with my last post. Then it starts to hit. I think the main thing is just tiredness—I suppose it’s the feeling a person gets when they put a lot of energy into something and not have it work out. I feel drained. I was in a state of readiness for the last month, and now it is catching up with me.

Any time something like this doesn’t work out I wonder what’s going to happen when my 99 weeks [if I am lucky enough to actually get the full amount of benefits] of unemployment is up. In some ways, I will have more options…I will be able to take part-time, temporary, and seasonal work. I will probably take the CPA and graduate degree off my resume, depending. It’s frustrating knowing that all of the work that went into those achievements may have wound up being for nothing. But that hasn’t happened yet, and maybe it won’t.

But the thought will not exit my mind, I may be one of those people who never really has a career, just seasonal work H&R Block type work and temp gigs.

I did post to a few government jobs this week, though. Maybe something will come through later this summer.

Alas....

...I was rejected today for the casino job. Oh well, I don't feel as bad about this one because I think I really did well on the interview, I guess they just had someone else who was a better fit for them. Wasn't meant to be. I'm too busy reading THE LONELY POLYGAMIST. Very funny book, surprisingly it reminds me of Larry McMurtry, the same hapless middle aged protagonist whose personal life is in a state of chaos, except in this case instead of one wife he has four.

I was essentially an entry level person, and I think the job might have called for someone with a little more experience. That has been the recurrent theme over the past ten months.

But things look good for unemployment to continue at least till the end of this year, so I'm not too worried.