We're all sad kindergarteners

Back in kindergarten, I used to have this need to bring a toy or some other object to class every day. I remember my motivation was that it might gain me acceptance, which I apparently was starved for practically from day one.

Now Kindergarten has become Instagram, etc. [though I rarely do much on Facebook or Bluesky any longer due to lack of response.] I was on TikTok for a few years, and that went slightly better but is the ficklest platform of all. I left that one once the ownership changed, followed by the vibe.

I went hiking yesterday, and it was good. Not too difficult, and it was lovely seeing the remaining fall color. Saw two waterfalls and we’d finally had some rain to where they were worth looking at. I took a lot of photos. Quantity is important, because often the photos you think look so great as you take them are pretty blah once you actually look at them. Often the ones taken on a whim look the best, though there’s been a handful of times where you know you’re capturing something amazing.

My roommate said she thought the reason I was so into hiking now was due to the photos and social media element, and I cannot deny that, though I get a lot of other things out of it. Exercise that often doesn’t feel like exercise, having the world to myself [usually,] a feeling of accomplishment when I finish a difficult hike—usually those are the ones that involve some kind of summit. But it’s really all about the photos, and about trying to share something, even if the validation that little kid all those years ago is looking for is not there to be found. I still feel like that kid who is trying to find the object or image, that will somehow open doors and create a connection.