Swirling the toilet bowl.....

It's hot and miserable, and I have a lot of stuff to do.

Didn't get the county job. Not really a surprise, and I should be pleased that they got back to me so soon. I'm hoping that's it as far as county jobs go. I'm not going to bother taking the test next year. I won't be qualified for unemployment anymore, so I won't have to go through the charade of applying and interviewing for jobs that I have no chance at getting.

Hoping to maybe hear from the recruiter today. I suppose over the next couple of weeks I need to push to get temporary work. I think that is probably going to be the only avenue open to me. I applied at a place I used to work at back in grad school. It's for my old position, we'll see if they are interested. Doubt it, it'll be pretty obvious that I'm settling for that job [it's not even in accounting] and will want to move to something else as soon as I can.

Hard to convince people that I just want a low level job where I can learn and build experience over the long term.

I'm getting into reading about middle aged men in crisis again. I'm going to be 39 in just under a month and I'm probably already middle aged since most people kick off somewhere in their seventies. My grandfather is 86, but he's lived way longer than his father, or anyone else in his generation of our family.

I read a book called EVERYTHING HURTS about a 46 year old guy with various physical ailments that are related to his unresolved feelings, etc. Obvious the author is taking a dig at that one doctor who believes that all back problems are psychosomatic. A friend sent me his book once, I don't recall much about it other than my back problems did not resolve. I don't think I suppress my negative feelings, they are pretty much front and center.