Seek You, and being seen.

Almost finished with the illustrated semi-memoir SEEK YOU, by Kristen Radtke and it's one of the better things I've read in a while. There's something about being seen in a written work, to say "Yes, this is my experience too." A feeling of validation and legitimacy that we all seek. Many things struck me about the book but I especially related to the idea that we are often performing, even when we live alone. I often imagine my life as a movie, even when I am sitting alone here I imagine how I might look on screen. I spend much of my life preparing for and trying to visualize social interaction. What I may say, how I want to look, the impression I would like to give. I wonder is anyone really natural with others? I know I felt a level of comfort with one person in this life so far, and I don't know if that can be replicated. I meet people but never feel that sense of ease or of being with a kindred spirit. I think the current model doesn't work for me, and I'm going to need to try something else...