Kidding myself....

...that anyone is actually reading. As I've said before, this is more of a diary for me [similar to my pal Thee Whiskey Rebel.] But Merry Christmas anyway.

I haven't seen my family [that is, parents, grandparents, etc.] for Christmas in seven years. Always been too broke or had bad stuff going on [we've had a string of Christmas stresses/tragedies for the last three years, and I'm hoping like crazy this year may break the streak.] It's something I really regret, but I recognize it as one of the sacrifices I've had to make to get certain things that I wanted out of life. I'm hoping maybe next year, although it is too late in some ways---I've had one of my grandparents pass away over that seven year period, and another has developed severe dementia. I will always feel a lot of regret about leaving the place where I used to live, even though I wasn't happy there a lot of the time.

And of course due to all the various bad stuff that has happened over the past few Christmases, it has always become a time to dread, something that I always hope will pass without incident. I probably won't really relax until after New Year's. And then we'll be back to worrying about my last job interview. I have an exam for one of the county jobs [different county than the one I live in] in early January, I'm hoping like crazy I will have gotten a job offer before that. I don't really want to go through all the rigamarole of applying for yet another governmental accounting job, this time for a job that would be a good 45 miles away.

Oh well. Going to have Thai food for Christmas Eve, and food from our beloved Chinese take-out place Christmas day. We are so glad that our favorite restaurateur is a workaholic who never takes a day off.